Angry Angry Angry

Finally I had scolded the ger who used my dit pic for her siggy... I had tried to calm myself down for the past few days but it still explode when I saw her way of replying other ppl's request in her thread. I dun like her attitude so I decided to tell her off.

After playing my sin for sometimes, I feel boring wif her as I feel her life in maple will b oni L7 and nth else. So i created a dit on xmas eve and my dear helped to lvl her till 10 since she had trouble killing orange mush in lower lvl.

During xmas day i was browsing the forum and saw a siggy making thread, I submitted 3 pics taken in cs asking her to help me designed. Tat's whr my nightmare came.. She got herself a new siggy by using all my pics as her own without even bother to ask me. I kept quiet when i saw tat, tinking she might tell me later on. I waited for days but she nv mention anything so I assume she is not going to say anything abt it.

Seriously speaking, I wasnt angry that she do not hav time to do the siggys in the thread as there were alot of them but I was angry of her using my pics. Her supporters oni noe how to flame blindly saying she can took the pics herself, using char stimulator blah blah blah when evidences r being thrown rite in front of their faces.

Haha~ Rite now i m just enjoying myself flaming them back too since maple is still down... Who wanna join me? =D

YaYa

My Fears...

Recently some incidents which I chose to forgotten has been coming back to me and thus bringing back the fear as well. It was quite long ago, during my secondary time and I had never told anyone abt it, not even my dear since I had chose not to rmb it. However, the fear came back...

It had been so mani years since I last saw him.. He didnt change much except grown fatter. The incidents keep appearing in my mind, making me so frighten. Till now, I do not dare to look at him directly.

Why must he show up? Why cant he let me bury those nightmares and never get it out again? I do not know wad to do, my mind is in a mess...

YaYa

Weird Happenings

I duno I took how long to fall aslp coz of the thunder.. Go laugh at me, I admit I m afraid of thunder and mani other stuffs tooIt has been raining since yst, on and off. It made the surrounding so cold and dark like late evening. I wonder when is it going to stop, I wan my sun back. T_T

Haiz.. I had finish watching all the episodes available in youtube for naruto, now I nid to wait weekly for new episode to b out so decide to watch bleach while waiting. =) Bleach is quite a funny anime too but kinda of more scary too, the monsters I'm talking abt.

Last nite rite after I switch off my pc, sometink caught my attention. A yellow butterfly flying around me, I was surprised (very) by it. I never expect a butterfly could actually flew into 7th floor HDB flat in the middle of the night. It landed awhile on the floor but less tan 5 secs, it flew up and it was gone suddenly. I tried in vain searching for it but gave up after 5mins...

Was lying on my bed tossing ard since I cant slp, I heard someone open the main gate n door. However, there was no closing sound nor footstep after tat. I m very sure tat the sound of opening if from the outside coz main gate come first. I look out of the window and scanned ard my neighbours' hse, there isn't anyone. Yah, at this point of time my mind ran wild, I got up and quicky shut my door b4 covering myself wif blanket. >.<

Pls dun let such incident happen to me again, it was so scary...

YaYa.

Bringing My Death Forward

Have not been feeling well for the past few days but yet I refused to rest more, pushing myself to my limit. I noe by doing tis, I m making myself more vulnerable to illness & death. But who care?

No matter how tired I get, I just kip dragging myself on coz I noe even Iying on bed wont fall asleep. My mind doesnt allow me to rest anyway. =) Lucky I got naruto to accompany me thru those nites or else I do not noe wad to do alone. Yah, I got no frens.. Even I hav, they r oni those hi and bye frens. I hardly talked wif anyone, they will oni talked to me when they nid some answers and perhaps guess I will noe it bah.

I'm getting used of doing tinks alone again. I no longer feel I nid anyone or I m needed by anyone.. Even though I m smiling, my heart is not doing the same. I do not noe since when I had build back my wall n this time I even add a lock on it too, refusing to let myself to open up again. I guess this might a better solution to me and to everyone. :-)

Dying YaYa

Stupid Naruto

Yawn~ Last nite I slept at 4am. Wanted to slp earlier de, my finger just couldnt stop clicking the naruto one episode after another. It was so exciting battle & by watching halfway will just made me unable to fall in slp more.

Stupid Naruto show... Made me cried last nite while watching. Lucky everyone is aslp ler so no1 seen me. ;p Haku is so kind-hearted till he actually sacrified himself for his master even he knew from the beginning he was oni a tool. It was so touching!!! Dun u dare to laugh at me, go watch yourself, I bet u will cry as well if u use your heart to view it. The loading is soooooooooooooooooo slow ar till to a point it just kip die on me. FASTER PLS!!! I refresh it 3 times liao, wad u wan me to do?!

Haha... Caiyong fall sick again. -_- Well, he brought it upon himself de. Who ask him kip refusing to drink more water and eat so much heaty food. Now complaint of somach pain liao, as usual. Didn bother so much as I noe he will b well again tml when he wake up. ;p

Finally dear is back home 2dae but as I expected, he still hasnt got time for me. He actually forgotten tml he got test/exam!!!! (That idiot~ -_-) I refused to allow him to reply to our thread as I want him to concentrate on his studies but I noe it very well de. Even he nv reply it, he will still viewing it every now & then. Am I correct, my dear? F3

I wonder if he missed me tis few days or not... Hmm... Just to let u noe I DUN miss u!!!

YaYa

Insane Watching Anime

Yawn~ I m so tired... Not tired from mapling but sometink new tis time. ;p Guess it...



Got the ans yet? Hee~




Is Anime, Naruto! Haha~ It was so funny n I couldnt stop watching to go slp. -_-


2dae is my 1st day n viewing episode 14 n still counting... I m glad that weiwei intro tis anime to me, i luv u weiwei!!! Muacks~

Haiz, I was so addicted to it till I dun really bother abt my siggy contest in forum. Bleah~ Nid sometimes to let tis anime addiction to cool off de, just like maple. ;p I noe dear wont get too angry wif me de. Rite hor dear? =D

I no time to write liao, show starting ler, cya~

YaYa

Sick Day

Yst I was too tired n didnt play dear's char, tink oni up 1-2% oni. I was tinking of training him on sat afternoon de but haiz, in the end I was slping instead of in maple. My head was in pain, I couldn get myself to face the pc so I hav no choice but to log out maple. Sry dear, sry for not training. However, I still manage to lvl him up during 2x exp timing. Hee~

2dae I broke record, I didn eat lunch or dinner. That include breakfast hor... Duno y... Just cant eat at all, I kip feeling very full n looking at the rice already me wan to puke liao. -_-ll As usual, I threw away the food secretly. I noe is a sin to throw away but how m I supposed to eat it when I hav no appetite?

I miss him alot, how i wish he is wif me now.. *Sob sob* But I noe he's bz working, cannot disturb him.. I feel like calling him and cry my heart out. I always cry whenever I fall sick de coz I hate that feeling of uncomfortable. But at the same time, I oso hate to eat medicines too. So I can oni wait for my immune system to heal me. T.T

Now watching Jackie Wu's show, so funny sia... Make me forget my sickness for time being. =) Yeah, I tink dear already off work ler. Haha~ He must b having his supper now. He's a piggy lai de, eat alot. Totally opposite of me... Hahaha, I oni good at eating chocolates n biscuits. But too bad he always dun allow me to eat de, he baddie. >.< I go watch my show ler, mayb ltr will go lvl my hoghog.

YaYa

New Blog Design

Was kinda of bored so decide to change new blog design. I had tis saved in my pc wif the previous design at the same time but I didnt use tis as I like the animals in that previous design. Took me quite some time to get wad I wan in tis design. Not I stupid ok? I was trying ard wif pics, testing which look the best in it. Finally I made my decision to use these (it was hard to make decision as I love all my pics, haha). Is tis nicer or the previous better? o.O

As usual, I changed my mind again... >.< A fren of mine told me why do u nid to worry so much now? He advise me to hold on till he come sg. He felt mayb is b coz we r being far away, tat's y I feel insecure & lack of confidence. I really had no idea if I can wait till he come or just give up again... But I noe even he noe he's going to get hurt by me again, he is willing to do so too. Sry dear..

I had been training hard for our chars in maple as each day I see them getting nearer to 3rd job, it makes me feel so happy. Not that I had not been to 3rd job b4, is b coz tis time I reaching tgt wif him instead of being alone again. =) Some ppl in maple r just so funny... I rmb yst when I was training my dear's char, I saw a sin cc into the chn & I tink he saw me too since I was just on his right side when he jumped dwn. As I dun mind sharing, I didnt speak a word... After I walked back from the right, he said, " cc pls, ty." I replied, " I just saw u jump dwn from the top LOL." After saying tat, he disappear... I tink he went other chn ler bah, didn bother at all. I wonder is he trying to b a joker or tinking I'm blind?

When is the stupid invalid pointer caused by tv going to get solved? I really hate it whenever I get pass the tv & get my whole maple to shut dwn. It's so irritiating!!! I dun even understand y do they hav the tv in the 1st place. It was so exp to use it n hardly we see anyone using it anyway. Like some of the forumers said, the tv is white elephant. Haha~

That idiot again giving excuses when I ask him when his so-called $ going to xfer to me. It was the 3rd week liao & he still claiming that the bank had not given an answer yet. Which bank took sooooo long to give an answer?! They can't b happier when u r loaning from them! I guess he really tink I m a 3 year old kid. I had already found out mani loopholes in the conversations wif him but I keeping quiet now. I will spill out everything when the time is ripe. Now is still not the time yet. ;p

I wonder how's dear work. Issit crowded wif ppl, issit bz or issit bored? I nv sms him as I do not wan to disturb him during his work time. =( So boring, tink I will go change my tagboard colour as I feel it doesnt suit my blog colour. Hehe..

YaYa

No Title

I hardly slp last nite, too much tinks on my mind. Eventually I fall sick liao, now headache n flu... How I wish sickness can just let one to die so I do not nid to b so trouble ler.

Once again I told him that treat me as fren oni, I feel so weird when we arent even tgt n yet he pretending nth happened. Yah, we broke off more tan 2mths ago. I just feel we r not suited for each other.. He is still so young, has a bright future ahead of him and he stayed msia. Me? I m old ler, no future and stay in sg. There r mani facts lying there, I just cant pretend they r not there or tinking they will disappear when time comes. Sooner or later I will nid to face it..

It mayb very hurt now but time will numb us, soon we will no longer feel anything towards tis relationship. I rather he blames me now for being so selfish than he regret being wif me in future. =)

I want to delete my chars in maple but I just cant bear to do it. I noe by deleting it will further confirm our situation. I duno why I cant click the confirmation icon of deleting... Perhaps I still nid some time to persuade myself to press it.. I noe I will regret it once I delete it but I noe that's a must.

He's going to JB to work 2dae, I wish him luck. And nxt mth he will having exams, I noe he will do well in his coming exams. I trust he will do everything for his future n himself de.

Hope the rain stop soon, I want to change my number. >.<

YaYa

Meaningful Phrase

I saw tis somewhere, find it very meaningful so I decided to kip it here for memories. =)

cause my heart wont be your ragdoll anymore

there's a moment in my mind i've scribbled & erase a thousand times

smile, its easier then explaining why you are sad

you're the last thing my heart expected, Love

before you found me, you already abandoned me

& once i thought waitting could change something

a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets

& yet those promises had been emptied by time

in your sweet embrace, all my pain's erased

& i cant live in the past & drown myself in memories

& your name is the secret word to the doors of hearts

Goodbye to you, to everything i thought i knew

should i trust this postage due, to deliver my heart to you

a year ago you saw my first tear, and it was for you

that romance, it shows how much i tried to love you

Too true to say goodbye to you

& i dont know tomorrow
we can still love each other as much as we do now.

I forgot to get you a gift, so i decided to BE the gift.

Since love won't last forever, let's enjoy what we have before a meteor decides to kill us.

The courage in the depths of the chest that slashes apart the darkness;
The white wings that severs confusion,
"I don't think that I can do everything by myself anymore!"

Since Light travels Faster than sound, people appear bright. until we hear them speak



Maple has been so laggy till I hardly wan to go in. I can oni train till 10am n the rest of the day shld b facing lags & dcing. Tis is so sux... I really dun understand wad's the problem here. It's like getting from bad to worse! Oh well, at least I get to slp early n maple early in the morning. =)

I m so tired now, wan to go zzz ler. Hope I wont hav nightmares again, like last nite. >.<

YaYa