It has been months since I came here... I moved back to my own hse so I can sell it more conveniently. And another reason is because he came sg to work and couldn't bear to let him stay alone in my hse.
Yes, I'm still not working... Can't work anyway, is that idiot's fault!!! Guess why? Haha...
Well, a little life will arrive to this world during xmas' eve. Tis time I insist of keeping it, I do not want to have anymore regret in future. No intention of getting married though... I don't wan to get married for the sake of getting married. Maybe in future but definitely not now.
I am so bad... I told him I let baby follow my surname.. Hahaha... I just like to see that reaction on his face.. Hmm... It might just happen that way if YOU didn't treat me well, get that? ;p
YaYa
Friday, June 15, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Sad
Yesterday was a day i had been waiting for years to come. I thought i would happy.. But i wasn't when tis day actually arrived.
During my journey to the court, memories kept fillin me up. Many times i had to control my tears from falling down. Why do i still feel sad? Shouldn't i feel delight that i got my freedomback? I wanted to cry out but i know i can't.
All i ask is a family whether rich or poor, why couldn't he do that? Is that too much to ask for?
My life is full of sadness. Even there's happiness, they r just dreams. =) I thought of my childhood, my school life, my marriage & my father's death.
I have finally realise that i had no trust in love or anyone. I really do not want to go through all these again. I thought i had get over but little did i know, i haven't. I simply cast them aside, somewhere in my heart, thinking they will just leave me alone. They dun.. They will b hauting me every now & then then.
Once again, i hav chosen to leave him again. Like he said, i'm already 28 & hav 2 kids.. Bur i wasn't listenin at all. yah.. I'm already 28 wif 2 kids whereas he's only 23. He is young, too young to stay with an old lady like me. We are not suitable for each other, i know it very well that i can only be part of his memories.Thks Tony, thks for loving me.. I'm happy that you've been in my life for a period of time. That's enough ler, thks.
YaYa
Monday, January 22, 2007
Nightmare...
Today I had learnt something new, how to open a locked door without key n locksmith. >.<
Fine, I wasnt the one who created this mess, it was Joel who has itchy hands to take the keys on his own & put the keys inside b4 he actually locked the door.
It was a total nightmare... I had no experience in doing such task before & i was alone at home too. Scared me to death!!! I hopeless finding ways to open that freaking door, calling everyone whom i tink can help me.
End up i sat there crying n finally someone told me use a hammer to hit on the key portion. After trying mani times, the door finally open itself... T.T
I never allow them to touch the keys again!!!
YaYa
Fine, I wasnt the one who created this mess, it was Joel who has itchy hands to take the keys on his own & put the keys inside b4 he actually locked the door.
It was a total nightmare... I had no experience in doing such task before & i was alone at home too. Scared me to death!!! I hopeless finding ways to open that freaking door, calling everyone whom i tink can help me.
End up i sat there crying n finally someone told me use a hammer to hit on the key portion. After trying mani times, the door finally open itself... T.T
I never allow them to touch the keys again!!!
YaYa
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
My 10 days~
As usual, I had been mapling for the past few days but not wif my cleric ger but my dit... His exams r coming soon so he nid to study n i didn really want him to chase after my level later on so I just put my cleric on hold.
Currently my dit is level 40 ler, slowing down liao. I duno y, i kip falling asleep mani times while mapling. I just couldn concentrate & kip on yawning wif my eyelids shutting itself. -_-ll
Got to noe a new fren, froggie, in kerning pq.. He was so kelian thru out that 5hrs pqing... The leader (call him bhr) kept begging him to lend steely & tobi but obviously he refused. But to my surprise, bhr was so patient to kip asking for 5hrs until froggie couldn stand him & he decided to totally ignore his request while I was there laughing non-stop. After partying him for a few days then i realised he oni had 2 stars, steely & tobi.. =.= Froggie, go hunt more stars lar.. U noe is very ma fan to kip on repoting de mah?
I swear i will not ever get into ludi pq again. It's a torture, not a leisure at all!! I went in twice, both times made me almost vomited blood. After leaving the pq, I realised my lifespan has been shortened for at least 10 years.
The first time I went in, a few of them kip fooling ard.. Keeping the tickets in their inventory, letting us kip asking ard who has the tickets. & one of them kip shouting for haste when we hav not even add sp to it, why couldn he use speed pots instead. I couldn bother wif him oso..
The 2nd time got a sin kip on running all over the chns, claiming he is trying to search for chn when we already had track for that particular chn. In the end, me n froggie couldn stand him n kick him out. In that pq, most of them hardly do anything... Then me n froggie had decided we r not going in after this pq. However, b4 we could finish it, an idiot left the party & made the rest of us being threw out of the pq. If u do not wan to continue, u can jolly well click logout or click that npc to get out. I guess she did it on purpose... But oh well, she save me from that horrible place anyway.
Joined a guild earlier on but quitted after 2 days... Well, the guild members r noisy but is among themselves since they r frens in the first place. I guess they added people in just for the sake of adding. They dun chat wif u, they dun ans ur qns & u r there b coz of u r there. -.- That is so lame... N the worst thing is 2 of them speak in twit language!!! OMG!!! It doesnt make them look cute but it make the sentence so hard to read...
Seriously i nid more frens in my buddy list, to kip me accompany... but some of them just dun talk even u asked them qns... Too buzy wif level or they do not noe hw to reply? Anyone can teach me hw to get more frens? T.T
As usual, quarrelling wif dear every few days... Haha~ I guess he already got used to my temper ler, m i rite abt that? Another 2 more mths & it will b our 1st year anniversary.. I didn expect time to pass away so fast & he will b coming to sg very soon too. I tink he's counting down to that date. ;p
Oh yah, i'm going to court on this 26th & I will b officially divorced on the 26th april. Yeah, finally this day has come! I waited for so long liao till my neck has grown so long.. Hee~ Anyone has reliable housing agent to recommend me? =D I do not like to find stranger esp i will b passing the keys to her. Pls lor, dun expect me to go dwn to serangoon from jurong east everytime there r interested buyers wanting to view flat...
Go watch kid central wif my ger ler since maple is under server check right now.
YaYa
Currently my dit is level 40 ler, slowing down liao. I duno y, i kip falling asleep mani times while mapling. I just couldn concentrate & kip on yawning wif my eyelids shutting itself. -_-ll
Got to noe a new fren, froggie, in kerning pq.. He was so kelian thru out that 5hrs pqing... The leader (call him bhr) kept begging him to lend steely & tobi but obviously he refused. But to my surprise, bhr was so patient to kip asking for 5hrs until froggie couldn stand him & he decided to totally ignore his request while I was there laughing non-stop. After partying him for a few days then i realised he oni had 2 stars, steely & tobi.. =.= Froggie, go hunt more stars lar.. U noe is very ma fan to kip on repoting de mah?
I swear i will not ever get into ludi pq again. It's a torture, not a leisure at all!! I went in twice, both times made me almost vomited blood. After leaving the pq, I realised my lifespan has been shortened for at least 10 years.
The first time I went in, a few of them kip fooling ard.. Keeping the tickets in their inventory, letting us kip asking ard who has the tickets. & one of them kip shouting for haste when we hav not even add sp to it, why couldn he use speed pots instead. I couldn bother wif him oso..
The 2nd time got a sin kip on running all over the chns, claiming he is trying to search for chn when we already had track for that particular chn. In the end, me n froggie couldn stand him n kick him out. In that pq, most of them hardly do anything... Then me n froggie had decided we r not going in after this pq. However, b4 we could finish it, an idiot left the party & made the rest of us being threw out of the pq. If u do not wan to continue, u can jolly well click logout or click that npc to get out. I guess she did it on purpose... But oh well, she save me from that horrible place anyway.
Joined a guild earlier on but quitted after 2 days... Well, the guild members r noisy but is among themselves since they r frens in the first place. I guess they added people in just for the sake of adding. They dun chat wif u, they dun ans ur qns & u r there b coz of u r there. -.- That is so lame... N the worst thing is 2 of them speak in twit language!!! OMG!!! It doesnt make them look cute but it make the sentence so hard to read...
Seriously i nid more frens in my buddy list, to kip me accompany... but some of them just dun talk even u asked them qns... Too buzy wif level or they do not noe hw to reply? Anyone can teach me hw to get more frens? T.T
As usual, quarrelling wif dear every few days... Haha~ I guess he already got used to my temper ler, m i rite abt that? Another 2 more mths & it will b our 1st year anniversary.. I didn expect time to pass away so fast & he will b coming to sg very soon too. I tink he's counting down to that date. ;p
Oh yah, i'm going to court on this 26th & I will b officially divorced on the 26th april. Yeah, finally this day has come! I waited for so long liao till my neck has grown so long.. Hee~ Anyone has reliable housing agent to recommend me? =D I do not like to find stranger esp i will b passing the keys to her. Pls lor, dun expect me to go dwn to serangoon from jurong east everytime there r interested buyers wanting to view flat...
Go watch kid central wif my ger ler since maple is under server check right now.
YaYa
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Busy Week
Has been very busy for the past whole week... Hmm.. wad did i do? Let me tink...
I rmb I had been going out almost everyday from mon to fri... I didnt want to stay at home, it was so lonely n boring. No one is free to talk to me. In the end, I bought lots of stuffs which cost few hundreds bucks. I noe I shld save up the $ for moving hse etc but I duno y, I just feel so down n wanted to make myself happier. I bought clothes, bag & some other stuffs that i dun even rmb.
Oh yah, I had just finished my 1000 piece puzzle and it took me 2 days. Depending on how u count it, if deduct my sleep n going out, it will b oni 1 day. =D I was hoping that puzzle could let me spend more days to complete, at least I dun feel so bored.
Found an part-time housing agent, going to meet her this friday, i tink. It was not yet confirmed, i oni heard it from my cousin. Ohh.. the agent was intro by my cousin de. I didn wan to find strangers from newspaper & pass him/her my keys. I dun feel safe...
Haiz.. Tinking of calling my lawyer tmr, mayb tell her I found buyer ler & ask her to speed up my divorce. I was hoping to get it done by april, i wonder if she can make it or not. I dun care, die die ask her to do it. I pay for it de ok?!
Caiyong first day of school is just like another normal day. He seems to like the school, he didnt complaint at all. He just kept mentioning that the teacher took his workbooks n never return him. Haha~ Kids nowadays r so fortunate... The school helped them to keep all their workbooks & exercise books. Last time during my time, we hav to bring everything to school ourselves de. T.T
Sian, nid go eat dinner ler or else later my dear will become a super naggy uncle liao... >.<
YaYa
I rmb I had been going out almost everyday from mon to fri... I didnt want to stay at home, it was so lonely n boring. No one is free to talk to me. In the end, I bought lots of stuffs which cost few hundreds bucks. I noe I shld save up the $ for moving hse etc but I duno y, I just feel so down n wanted to make myself happier. I bought clothes, bag & some other stuffs that i dun even rmb.
Oh yah, I had just finished my 1000 piece puzzle and it took me 2 days. Depending on how u count it, if deduct my sleep n going out, it will b oni 1 day. =D I was hoping that puzzle could let me spend more days to complete, at least I dun feel so bored.
Found an part-time housing agent, going to meet her this friday, i tink. It was not yet confirmed, i oni heard it from my cousin. Ohh.. the agent was intro by my cousin de. I didn wan to find strangers from newspaper & pass him/her my keys. I dun feel safe...
Haiz.. Tinking of calling my lawyer tmr, mayb tell her I found buyer ler & ask her to speed up my divorce. I was hoping to get it done by april, i wonder if she can make it or not. I dun care, die die ask her to do it. I pay for it de ok?!
Caiyong first day of school is just like another normal day. He seems to like the school, he didnt complaint at all. He just kept mentioning that the teacher took his workbooks n never return him. Haha~ Kids nowadays r so fortunate... The school helped them to keep all their workbooks & exercise books. Last time during my time, we hav to bring everything to school ourselves de. T.T
Sian, nid go eat dinner ler or else later my dear will become a super naggy uncle liao... >.<
YaYa
Friday, December 29, 2006
Angry Angry Angry
Finally I had scolded the ger who used my dit pic for her siggy... I had tried to calm myself down for the past few days but it still explode when I saw her way of replying other ppl's request in her thread. I dun like her attitude so I decided to tell her off.
After playing my sin for sometimes, I feel boring wif her as I feel her life in maple will b oni L7 and nth else. So i created a dit on xmas eve and my dear helped to lvl her till 10 since she had trouble killing orange mush in lower lvl.
During xmas day i was browsing the forum and saw a siggy making thread, I submitted 3 pics taken in cs asking her to help me designed. Tat's whr my nightmare came.. She got herself a new siggy by using all my pics as her own without even bother to ask me. I kept quiet when i saw tat, tinking she might tell me later on. I waited for days but she nv mention anything so I assume she is not going to say anything abt it.
Seriously speaking, I wasnt angry that she do not hav time to do the siggys in the thread as there were alot of them but I was angry of her using my pics. Her supporters oni noe how to flame blindly saying she can took the pics herself, using char stimulator blah blah blah when evidences r being thrown rite in front of their faces.
Haha~ Rite now i m just enjoying myself flaming them back too since maple is still down... Who wanna join me? =D
YaYa
After playing my sin for sometimes, I feel boring wif her as I feel her life in maple will b oni L7 and nth else. So i created a dit on xmas eve and my dear helped to lvl her till 10 since she had trouble killing orange mush in lower lvl.
During xmas day i was browsing the forum and saw a siggy making thread, I submitted 3 pics taken in cs asking her to help me designed. Tat's whr my nightmare came.. She got herself a new siggy by using all my pics as her own without even bother to ask me. I kept quiet when i saw tat, tinking she might tell me later on. I waited for days but she nv mention anything so I assume she is not going to say anything abt it.
Seriously speaking, I wasnt angry that she do not hav time to do the siggys in the thread as there were alot of them but I was angry of her using my pics. Her supporters oni noe how to flame blindly saying she can took the pics herself, using char stimulator blah blah blah when evidences r being thrown rite in front of their faces.
Haha~ Rite now i m just enjoying myself flaming them back too since maple is still down... Who wanna join me? =D
YaYa
Thursday, December 21, 2006
My Fears...
Recently some incidents which I chose to forgotten has been coming back to me and thus bringing back the fear as well. It was quite long ago, during my secondary time and I had never told anyone abt it, not even my dear since I had chose not to rmb it. However, the fear came back...
It had been so mani years since I last saw him.. He didnt change much except grown fatter. The incidents keep appearing in my mind, making me so frighten. Till now, I do not dare to look at him directly.
Why must he show up? Why cant he let me bury those nightmares and never get it out again? I do not know wad to do, my mind is in a mess...
YaYa
It had been so mani years since I last saw him.. He didnt change much except grown fatter. The incidents keep appearing in my mind, making me so frighten. Till now, I do not dare to look at him directly.
Why must he show up? Why cant he let me bury those nightmares and never get it out again? I do not know wad to do, my mind is in a mess...
YaYa
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Weird Happenings
I duno I took how long to fall aslp coz of the thunder.. Go laugh at me, I admit I m afraid of thunder and mani other stuffs tooIt has been raining since yst, on and off. It made the surrounding so cold and dark like late evening. I wonder when is it going to stop, I wan my sun back. T_T
Haiz.. I had finish watching all the episodes available in youtube for naruto, now I nid to wait weekly for new episode to b out so decide to watch bleach while waiting. =) Bleach is quite a funny anime too but kinda of more scary too, the monsters I'm talking abt.
Last nite rite after I switch off my pc, sometink caught my attention. A yellow butterfly flying around me, I was surprised (very) by it. I never expect a butterfly could actually flew into 7th floor HDB flat in the middle of the night. It landed awhile on the floor but less tan 5 secs, it flew up and it was gone suddenly. I tried in vain searching for it but gave up after 5mins...
Was lying on my bed tossing ard since I cant slp, I heard someone open the main gate n door. However, there was no closing sound nor footstep after tat. I m very sure tat the sound of opening if from the outside coz main gate come first. I look out of the window and scanned ard my neighbours' hse, there isn't anyone. Yah, at this point of time my mind ran wild, I got up and quicky shut my door b4 covering myself wif blanket. >.<
Pls dun let such incident happen to me again, it was so scary...
YaYa.
Haiz.. I had finish watching all the episodes available in youtube for naruto, now I nid to wait weekly for new episode to b out so decide to watch bleach while waiting. =) Bleach is quite a funny anime too but kinda of more scary too, the monsters I'm talking abt.
Last nite rite after I switch off my pc, sometink caught my attention. A yellow butterfly flying around me, I was surprised (very) by it. I never expect a butterfly could actually flew into 7th floor HDB flat in the middle of the night. It landed awhile on the floor but less tan 5 secs, it flew up and it was gone suddenly. I tried in vain searching for it but gave up after 5mins...
Was lying on my bed tossing ard since I cant slp, I heard someone open the main gate n door. However, there was no closing sound nor footstep after tat. I m very sure tat the sound of opening if from the outside coz main gate come first. I look out of the window and scanned ard my neighbours' hse, there isn't anyone. Yah, at this point of time my mind ran wild, I got up and quicky shut my door b4 covering myself wif blanket. >.<
Pls dun let such incident happen to me again, it was so scary...
YaYa.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Bringing My Death Forward
Have not been feeling well for the past few days but yet I refused to rest more, pushing myself to my limit. I noe by doing tis, I m making myself more vulnerable to illness & death. But who care?
No matter how tired I get, I just kip dragging myself on coz I noe even Iying on bed wont fall asleep. My mind doesnt allow me to rest anyway. =) Lucky I got naruto to accompany me thru those nites or else I do not noe wad to do alone. Yah, I got no frens.. Even I hav, they r oni those hi and bye frens. I hardly talked wif anyone, they will oni talked to me when they nid some answers and perhaps guess I will noe it bah.
I'm getting used of doing tinks alone again. I no longer feel I nid anyone or I m needed by anyone.. Even though I m smiling, my heart is not doing the same. I do not noe since when I had build back my wall n this time I even add a lock on it too, refusing to let myself to open up again. I guess this might a better solution to me and to everyone. :-)
Dying YaYa
No matter how tired I get, I just kip dragging myself on coz I noe even Iying on bed wont fall asleep. My mind doesnt allow me to rest anyway. =) Lucky I got naruto to accompany me thru those nites or else I do not noe wad to do alone. Yah, I got no frens.. Even I hav, they r oni those hi and bye frens. I hardly talked wif anyone, they will oni talked to me when they nid some answers and perhaps guess I will noe it bah.
I'm getting used of doing tinks alone again. I no longer feel I nid anyone or I m needed by anyone.. Even though I m smiling, my heart is not doing the same. I do not noe since when I had build back my wall n this time I even add a lock on it too, refusing to let myself to open up again. I guess this might a better solution to me and to everyone. :-)
Dying YaYa
Monday, December 11, 2006
Stupid Naruto
Yawn~ Last nite I slept at 4am. Wanted to slp earlier de, my finger just couldnt stop clicking the naruto one episode after another. It was so exciting battle & by watching halfway will just made me unable to fall in slp more.
Stupid Naruto show... Made me cried last nite while watching. Lucky everyone is aslp ler so no1 seen me. ;p Haku is so kind-hearted till he actually sacrified himself for his master even he knew from the beginning he was oni a tool. It was so touching!!! Dun u dare to laugh at me, go watch yourself, I bet u will cry as well if u use your heart to view it. The loading is soooooooooooooooooo slow ar till to a point it just kip die on me. FASTER PLS!!! I refresh it 3 times liao, wad u wan me to do?!
Haha... Caiyong fall sick again. -_- Well, he brought it upon himself de. Who ask him kip refusing to drink more water and eat so much heaty food. Now complaint of somach pain liao, as usual. Didn bother so much as I noe he will b well again tml when he wake up. ;p
Finally dear is back home 2dae but as I expected, he still hasnt got time for me. He actually forgotten tml he got test/exam!!!! (That idiot~ -_-) I refused to allow him to reply to our thread as I want him to concentrate on his studies but I noe it very well de. Even he nv reply it, he will still viewing it every now & then. Am I correct, my dear? F3
I wonder if he missed me tis few days or not... Hmm... Just to let u noe I DUN miss u!!!
YaYa
Stupid Naruto show... Made me cried last nite while watching. Lucky everyone is aslp ler so no1 seen me. ;p Haku is so kind-hearted till he actually sacrified himself for his master even he knew from the beginning he was oni a tool. It was so touching!!! Dun u dare to laugh at me, go watch yourself, I bet u will cry as well if u use your heart to view it. The loading is soooooooooooooooooo slow ar till to a point it just kip die on me. FASTER PLS!!! I refresh it 3 times liao, wad u wan me to do?!
Haha... Caiyong fall sick again. -_- Well, he brought it upon himself de. Who ask him kip refusing to drink more water and eat so much heaty food. Now complaint of somach pain liao, as usual. Didn bother so much as I noe he will b well again tml when he wake up. ;p
Finally dear is back home 2dae but as I expected, he still hasnt got time for me. He actually forgotten tml he got test/exam!!!! (That idiot~ -_-) I refused to allow him to reply to our thread as I want him to concentrate on his studies but I noe it very well de. Even he nv reply it, he will still viewing it every now & then. Am I correct, my dear? F3
I wonder if he missed me tis few days or not... Hmm... Just to let u noe I DUN miss u!!!
YaYa
Insane Watching Anime
Yawn~ I m so tired... Not tired from mapling but sometink new tis time. ;p Guess it...
Got the ans yet? Hee~
Is Anime, Naruto! Haha~ It was so funny n I couldnt stop watching to go slp. -_-
2dae is my 1st day n viewing episode 14 n still counting... I m glad that weiwei intro tis anime to me, i luv u weiwei!!! Muacks~
Haiz, I was so addicted to it till I dun really bother abt my siggy contest in forum. Bleah~ Nid sometimes to let tis anime addiction to cool off de, just like maple. ;p I noe dear wont get too angry wif me de. Rite hor dear? =D
I no time to write liao, show starting ler, cya~
YaYa
Got the ans yet? Hee~
Is Anime, Naruto! Haha~ It was so funny n I couldnt stop watching to go slp. -_-
2dae is my 1st day n viewing episode 14 n still counting... I m glad that weiwei intro tis anime to me, i luv u weiwei!!! Muacks~
Haiz, I was so addicted to it till I dun really bother abt my siggy contest in forum. Bleah~ Nid sometimes to let tis anime addiction to cool off de, just like maple. ;p I noe dear wont get too angry wif me de. Rite hor dear? =D
I no time to write liao, show starting ler, cya~
YaYa
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Sick Day
Yst I was too tired n didnt play dear's char, tink oni up 1-2% oni. I was tinking of training him on sat afternoon de but haiz, in the end I was slping instead of in maple. My head was in pain, I couldn get myself to face the pc so I hav no choice but to log out maple. Sry dear, sry for not training. However, I still manage to lvl him up during 2x exp timing. Hee~
2dae I broke record, I didn eat lunch or dinner. That include breakfast hor... Duno y... Just cant eat at all, I kip feeling very full n looking at the rice already me wan to puke liao. -_-ll As usual, I threw away the food secretly. I noe is a sin to throw away but how m I supposed to eat it when I hav no appetite?
I miss him alot, how i wish he is wif me now.. *Sob sob* But I noe he's bz working, cannot disturb him.. I feel like calling him and cry my heart out. I always cry whenever I fall sick de coz I hate that feeling of uncomfortable. But at the same time, I oso hate to eat medicines too. So I can oni wait for my immune system to heal me. T.T
Now watching Jackie Wu's show, so funny sia... Make me forget my sickness for time being. =) Yeah, I tink dear already off work ler. Haha~ He must b having his supper now. He's a piggy lai de, eat alot. Totally opposite of me... Hahaha, I oni good at eating chocolates n biscuits. But too bad he always dun allow me to eat de, he baddie. >.< I go watch my show ler, mayb ltr will go lvl my hoghog.
YaYa
2dae I broke record, I didn eat lunch or dinner. That include breakfast hor... Duno y... Just cant eat at all, I kip feeling very full n looking at the rice already me wan to puke liao. -_-ll As usual, I threw away the food secretly. I noe is a sin to throw away but how m I supposed to eat it when I hav no appetite?
I miss him alot, how i wish he is wif me now.. *Sob sob* But I noe he's bz working, cannot disturb him.. I feel like calling him and cry my heart out. I always cry whenever I fall sick de coz I hate that feeling of uncomfortable. But at the same time, I oso hate to eat medicines too. So I can oni wait for my immune system to heal me. T.T
Now watching Jackie Wu's show, so funny sia... Make me forget my sickness for time being. =) Yeah, I tink dear already off work ler. Haha~ He must b having his supper now. He's a piggy lai de, eat alot. Totally opposite of me... Hahaha, I oni good at eating chocolates n biscuits. But too bad he always dun allow me to eat de, he baddie. >.< I go watch my show ler, mayb ltr will go lvl my hoghog.
YaYa
Friday, December 08, 2006
New Blog Design
Was kinda of bored so decide to change new blog design. I had tis saved in my pc wif the previous design at the same time but I didnt use tis as I like the animals in that previous design. Took me quite some time to get wad I wan in tis design. Not I stupid ok? I was trying ard wif pics, testing which look the best in it. Finally I made my decision to use these (it was hard to make decision as I love all my pics, haha). Is tis nicer or the previous better? o.O
As usual, I changed my mind again... >.< A fren of mine told me why do u nid to worry so much now? He advise me to hold on till he come sg. He felt mayb is b coz we r being far away, tat's y I feel insecure & lack of confidence. I really had no idea if I can wait till he come or just give up again... But I noe even he noe he's going to get hurt by me again, he is willing to do so too. Sry dear..
I had been training hard for our chars in maple as each day I see them getting nearer to 3rd job, it makes me feel so happy. Not that I had not been to 3rd job b4, is b coz tis time I reaching tgt wif him instead of being alone again. =) Some ppl in maple r just so funny... I rmb yst when I was training my dear's char, I saw a sin cc into the chn & I tink he saw me too since I was just on his right side when he jumped dwn. As I dun mind sharing, I didnt speak a word... After I walked back from the right, he said, " cc pls, ty." I replied, " I just saw u jump dwn from the top LOL." After saying tat, he disappear... I tink he went other chn ler bah, didn bother at all. I wonder is he trying to b a joker or tinking I'm blind?
When is the stupid invalid pointer caused by tv going to get solved? I really hate it whenever I get pass the tv & get my whole maple to shut dwn. It's so irritiating!!! I dun even understand y do they hav the tv in the 1st place. It was so exp to use it n hardly we see anyone using it anyway. Like some of the forumers said, the tv is white elephant. Haha~
That idiot again giving excuses when I ask him when his so-called $ going to xfer to me. It was the 3rd week liao & he still claiming that the bank had not given an answer yet. Which bank took sooooo long to give an answer?! They can't b happier when u r loaning from them! I guess he really tink I m a 3 year old kid. I had already found out mani loopholes in the conversations wif him but I keeping quiet now. I will spill out everything when the time is ripe. Now is still not the time yet. ;p
I wonder how's dear work. Issit crowded wif ppl, issit bz or issit bored? I nv sms him as I do not wan to disturb him during his work time. =( So boring, tink I will go change my tagboard colour as I feel it doesnt suit my blog colour. Hehe..
YaYa
As usual, I changed my mind again... >.< A fren of mine told me why do u nid to worry so much now? He advise me to hold on till he come sg. He felt mayb is b coz we r being far away, tat's y I feel insecure & lack of confidence. I really had no idea if I can wait till he come or just give up again... But I noe even he noe he's going to get hurt by me again, he is willing to do so too. Sry dear..
I had been training hard for our chars in maple as each day I see them getting nearer to 3rd job, it makes me feel so happy. Not that I had not been to 3rd job b4, is b coz tis time I reaching tgt wif him instead of being alone again. =) Some ppl in maple r just so funny... I rmb yst when I was training my dear's char, I saw a sin cc into the chn & I tink he saw me too since I was just on his right side when he jumped dwn. As I dun mind sharing, I didnt speak a word... After I walked back from the right, he said, " cc pls, ty." I replied, " I just saw u jump dwn from the top LOL." After saying tat, he disappear... I tink he went other chn ler bah, didn bother at all. I wonder is he trying to b a joker or tinking I'm blind?
When is the stupid invalid pointer caused by tv going to get solved? I really hate it whenever I get pass the tv & get my whole maple to shut dwn. It's so irritiating!!! I dun even understand y do they hav the tv in the 1st place. It was so exp to use it n hardly we see anyone using it anyway. Like some of the forumers said, the tv is white elephant. Haha~
That idiot again giving excuses when I ask him when his so-called $ going to xfer to me. It was the 3rd week liao & he still claiming that the bank had not given an answer yet. Which bank took sooooo long to give an answer?! They can't b happier when u r loaning from them! I guess he really tink I m a 3 year old kid. I had already found out mani loopholes in the conversations wif him but I keeping quiet now. I will spill out everything when the time is ripe. Now is still not the time yet. ;p
I wonder how's dear work. Issit crowded wif ppl, issit bz or issit bored? I nv sms him as I do not wan to disturb him during his work time. =( So boring, tink I will go change my tagboard colour as I feel it doesnt suit my blog colour. Hehe..
YaYa
Thursday, December 07, 2006
No Title
I hardly slp last nite, too much tinks on my mind. Eventually I fall sick liao, now headache n flu... How I wish sickness can just let one to die so I do not nid to b so trouble ler.
Once again I told him that treat me as fren oni, I feel so weird when we arent even tgt n yet he pretending nth happened. Yah, we broke off more tan 2mths ago. I just feel we r not suited for each other.. He is still so young, has a bright future ahead of him and he stayed msia. Me? I m old ler, no future and stay in sg. There r mani facts lying there, I just cant pretend they r not there or tinking they will disappear when time comes. Sooner or later I will nid to face it..
It mayb very hurt now but time will numb us, soon we will no longer feel anything towards tis relationship. I rather he blames me now for being so selfish than he regret being wif me in future. =)
I want to delete my chars in maple but I just cant bear to do it. I noe by deleting it will further confirm our situation. I duno why I cant click the confirmation icon of deleting... Perhaps I still nid some time to persuade myself to press it.. I noe I will regret it once I delete it but I noe that's a must.
He's going to JB to work 2dae, I wish him luck. And nxt mth he will having exams, I noe he will do well in his coming exams. I trust he will do everything for his future n himself de.
Hope the rain stop soon, I want to change my number. >.<
YaYa
Once again I told him that treat me as fren oni, I feel so weird when we arent even tgt n yet he pretending nth happened. Yah, we broke off more tan 2mths ago. I just feel we r not suited for each other.. He is still so young, has a bright future ahead of him and he stayed msia. Me? I m old ler, no future and stay in sg. There r mani facts lying there, I just cant pretend they r not there or tinking they will disappear when time comes. Sooner or later I will nid to face it..
It mayb very hurt now but time will numb us, soon we will no longer feel anything towards tis relationship. I rather he blames me now for being so selfish than he regret being wif me in future. =)
I want to delete my chars in maple but I just cant bear to do it. I noe by deleting it will further confirm our situation. I duno why I cant click the confirmation icon of deleting... Perhaps I still nid some time to persuade myself to press it.. I noe I will regret it once I delete it but I noe that's a must.
He's going to JB to work 2dae, I wish him luck. And nxt mth he will having exams, I noe he will do well in his coming exams. I trust he will do everything for his future n himself de.
Hope the rain stop soon, I want to change my number. >.<
YaYa
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Meaningful Phrase
I saw tis somewhere, find it very meaningful so I decided to kip it here for memories. =)
cause my heart wont be your ragdoll anymore
there's a moment in my mind i've scribbled & erase a thousand times
smile, its easier then explaining why you are sad
you're the last thing my heart expected, Love
before you found me, you already abandoned me
& once i thought waitting could change something
a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets
& yet those promises had been emptied by time
in your sweet embrace, all my pain's erased
& i cant live in the past & drown myself in memories
& your name is the secret word to the doors of hearts
Goodbye to you, to everything i thought i knew
should i trust this postage due, to deliver my heart to you
a year ago you saw my first tear, and it was for you
that romance, it shows how much i tried to love you
Too true to say goodbye to you
& i dont know tomorrow
we can still love each other as much as we do now.
I forgot to get you a gift, so i decided to BE the gift.
Since love won't last forever, let's enjoy what we have before a meteor decides to kill us.
The courage in the depths of the chest that slashes apart the darkness;
The white wings that severs confusion,
"I don't think that I can do everything by myself anymore!"
Since Light travels Faster than sound, people appear bright. until we hear them speak
Maple has been so laggy till I hardly wan to go in. I can oni train till 10am n the rest of the day shld b facing lags & dcing. Tis is so sux... I really dun understand wad's the problem here. It's like getting from bad to worse! Oh well, at least I get to slp early n maple early in the morning. =)
I m so tired now, wan to go zzz ler. Hope I wont hav nightmares again, like last nite. >.<
YaYa
cause my heart wont be your ragdoll anymore
there's a moment in my mind i've scribbled & erase a thousand times
smile, its easier then explaining why you are sad
you're the last thing my heart expected, Love
before you found me, you already abandoned me
& once i thought waitting could change something
a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets
& yet those promises had been emptied by time
in your sweet embrace, all my pain's erased
& i cant live in the past & drown myself in memories
& your name is the secret word to the doors of hearts
Goodbye to you, to everything i thought i knew
should i trust this postage due, to deliver my heart to you
a year ago you saw my first tear, and it was for you
that romance, it shows how much i tried to love you
Too true to say goodbye to you
& i dont know tomorrow
we can still love each other as much as we do now.
I forgot to get you a gift, so i decided to BE the gift.
Since love won't last forever, let's enjoy what we have before a meteor decides to kill us.
The courage in the depths of the chest that slashes apart the darkness;
The white wings that severs confusion,
"I don't think that I can do everything by myself anymore!"
Since Light travels Faster than sound, people appear bright. until we hear them speak
Maple has been so laggy till I hardly wan to go in. I can oni train till 10am n the rest of the day shld b facing lags & dcing. Tis is so sux... I really dun understand wad's the problem here. It's like getting from bad to worse! Oh well, at least I get to slp early n maple early in the morning. =)
I m so tired now, wan to go zzz ler. Hope I wont hav nightmares again, like last nite. >.<
YaYa
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Boring Weekend~
Haiz... He wont b home till Monday as he's going Penang straight after school for work. T.T No one accompany me to maple n chit chat le.. U know if one dun talk for whole day, u will hav bad breath de. *sob sob*
Delphinus is out 2dae, no excitement or feeling. I really had no idea wad wizet r tinking. R they too rich, no other place to spend their $? Bootes and Cass barely full, I can hardly find someone in Cass. They tink by opening a new world, it will as filled as Aquila? It will b as dead as the other 2 worlds, zzz. I rather they spend the $ solving the lags n bugs. At least it will make people more willing to continue the game instead of all quitting.
I will definitely not moving to new world as I used so mani mths to train my char to lvl58, I m not going to give her up now. I dun hav the energy I used to hav to train her to 3rd job in 2 mths like I used to do so. By repeating such process, it will make maple boring. Not to mention I had spend so much cash on her, and turning her to my fav look. =D Anyway I jolly well know those who move over only have one motive; to b the top player in that world. Lame~
Hopefully Showa VIP Hair cut coupon will b out 2dae, I m looking forward for tat. Intending to create another siggy competition wif at least 20k-30k A-cash as prize(s). Havent decide how much yet and 1 or 2 winners, I m still deciding. Hmm... Any idea? Most probably I will send it as gift rather tan giving the code to the winner just in case he/she telling me code is wrong. I will take every successful gift's ss and kip it in my pc as evidence. Haha~
Going Jurong Point later, might b looking for present n xmas card since maple wont b up so soon. If u see me there, rmb to say hi to me k? =)
YaYa
Delphinus is out 2dae, no excitement or feeling. I really had no idea wad wizet r tinking. R they too rich, no other place to spend their $? Bootes and Cass barely full, I can hardly find someone in Cass. They tink by opening a new world, it will as filled as Aquila? It will b as dead as the other 2 worlds, zzz. I rather they spend the $ solving the lags n bugs. At least it will make people more willing to continue the game instead of all quitting.
I will definitely not moving to new world as I used so mani mths to train my char to lvl58, I m not going to give her up now. I dun hav the energy I used to hav to train her to 3rd job in 2 mths like I used to do so. By repeating such process, it will make maple boring. Not to mention I had spend so much cash on her, and turning her to my fav look. =D Anyway I jolly well know those who move over only have one motive; to b the top player in that world. Lame~
Hopefully Showa VIP Hair cut coupon will b out 2dae, I m looking forward for tat. Intending to create another siggy competition wif at least 20k-30k A-cash as prize(s). Havent decide how much yet and 1 or 2 winners, I m still deciding. Hmm... Any idea? Most probably I will send it as gift rather tan giving the code to the winner just in case he/she telling me code is wrong. I will take every successful gift's ss and kip it in my pc as evidence. Haha~
Going Jurong Point later, might b looking for present n xmas card since maple wont b up so soon. If u see me there, rmb to say hi to me k? =)
YaYa
Monday, November 27, 2006
Free, Free, Free
Yeah, I feel so happy now. Tis morning I went to the lawyer and finally got him sign the papers. Haha... Now he cannot disagree anything liao, he was the one who signed it in front of the commissioner. *Dancing around*
Jackie told me the hearing date is on 26th Dec next month and if everything goes smoothly, I can get my divorce papers at April. Hehe... I guess that is my best bdae present all my life, at least for now. =)
Was so tired when I got home so decided to went for nap wif my little princess for awhile. She noisy leh, woke me up a couple of times. In the end she woke up later than me. Haha..
Went taka shopping but didnt manage to get wad I wan. Wad to do? Xmas is coming yet I havent get him a present. Hmm.. Anyone has any suggestion of wad to get? All suggestions will b put under consideration. ^^
Enen got herself a new water bottle, so cute de coz I oso like that design but of coz I wont use it. Too childish.. -_- I oso bought her a new bag but it was a pity the colour I want is already sold. Haiz.. Should had bought it last mth when I saw it, now regret oso no use. She chose a light pink colour instead, oh well, she is the one using it not me. =D Dun tink she oni get those, she bought her favourite, winx club fairy. She been bugging me for weeks. I consider that as xmas present cum bdae present. Haha.. I sound like a baddie hor? As for Joel, I bought him a Power Ranger toy. Feel the nid to buy him one as enen got a toy or else I look so unfair sia.
Due to my laziness, I didnt bring umbrella out and been walking in the rain for quite a while. Hopefully I wont fall sick b coz of tis or else I will definitely getting tons of nagging from u noe who. =(
Someone rushing me to maple liao, gogogo. Hope to get her to 3rd job by nxt mth!
YaYa
Jackie told me the hearing date is on 26th Dec next month and if everything goes smoothly, I can get my divorce papers at April. Hehe... I guess that is my best bdae present all my life, at least for now. =)
Was so tired when I got home so decided to went for nap wif my little princess for awhile. She noisy leh, woke me up a couple of times. In the end she woke up later than me. Haha..
Went taka shopping but didnt manage to get wad I wan. Wad to do? Xmas is coming yet I havent get him a present. Hmm.. Anyone has any suggestion of wad to get? All suggestions will b put under consideration. ^^
Enen got herself a new water bottle, so cute de coz I oso like that design but of coz I wont use it. Too childish.. -_- I oso bought her a new bag but it was a pity the colour I want is already sold. Haiz.. Should had bought it last mth when I saw it, now regret oso no use. She chose a light pink colour instead, oh well, she is the one using it not me. =D Dun tink she oni get those, she bought her favourite, winx club fairy. She been bugging me for weeks. I consider that as xmas present cum bdae present. Haha.. I sound like a baddie hor? As for Joel, I bought him a Power Ranger toy. Feel the nid to buy him one as enen got a toy or else I look so unfair sia.
Due to my laziness, I didnt bring umbrella out and been walking in the rain for quite a while. Hopefully I wont fall sick b coz of tis or else I will definitely getting tons of nagging from u noe who. =(
Someone rushing me to maple liao, gogogo. Hope to get her to 3rd job by nxt mth!
YaYa
Thursday, November 23, 2006
After A Long Rest
It has been weeks since I last visited my own blog. Previously I had no wish to come back to view this sad place wif all those sad memories.After of calming myself for sometimes, I feel better now.
I was wondering, perhaps I had depression but I dun wan to find out or even to get myself cure. I must be mad... Who cares abt it? =D
Finally going to get my divorce done, meeting the lawyer for the 3rd time and of coz paying $500 again... T.T But well, at least I will be free after paying her the 4th time! I really looking forward for that day to come, I dun wan to hav anymore to do wif that idiot. Just my luck to meet such a jerk.
Has been raining these few days, making everyone falling sick. I tink I will get the sickness sooner or later since the kids ard me are already starting their germs to me. -_-ll Must drink more water and rest more.. Urgh... I hate the feeling of falling sick and most impt tink is I HATE MEDICINES.
Been slacking alot in maple.. Duno why, always wan to slp when I start to maple esp in gangster town. Haha.. Sometimes I just hang myself there and leech while I went to watch tv. Gangster town just dun attract me... >.<
Oops.. I forgot to get diamonds for tomato ler. Hahaha.. Later he will b chasing me for it, tink I promised to get 30 for him few days ago. Better go maple and shop ard now in case I forget again tml morning. ;p
Love YaYa
I was wondering, perhaps I had depression but I dun wan to find out or even to get myself cure. I must be mad... Who cares abt it? =D
Finally going to get my divorce done, meeting the lawyer for the 3rd time and of coz paying $500 again... T.T But well, at least I will be free after paying her the 4th time! I really looking forward for that day to come, I dun wan to hav anymore to do wif that idiot. Just my luck to meet such a jerk.
Has been raining these few days, making everyone falling sick. I tink I will get the sickness sooner or later since the kids ard me are already starting their germs to me. -_-ll Must drink more water and rest more.. Urgh... I hate the feeling of falling sick and most impt tink is I HATE MEDICINES.
Been slacking alot in maple.. Duno why, always wan to slp when I start to maple esp in gangster town. Haha.. Sometimes I just hang myself there and leech while I went to watch tv. Gangster town just dun attract me... >.<
Oops.. I forgot to get diamonds for tomato ler. Hahaha.. Later he will b chasing me for it, tink I promised to get 30 for him few days ago. Better go maple and shop ard now in case I forget again tml morning. ;p
Love YaYa
Thursday, November 02, 2006
My Last Words
Tis is my very last time writing here, wif my true feeling. I noe I wont hav any chance again coz I will not give myself a 2nd chance.
Since young, I already knew being a human is a torture. I always ask why am I being brought to this world and suffer? Mani times adults think that by providing us gd education and life of everything is being responsible. But did they realise how mani times I was being humiliated in school and how nasty they said abt me and my family? Perhaps they will never get to know as I never mentioned a word to them. There r mani tinks cant b bought by money, like care and concern. I always tink: why dun i get a complete family like my frens do? why dun i get to see my parents daily like my frens do? why dun i get family day like my frens do? No1 gave me the answer before, I dun even dare to ask the adults for fear I will get scoldings and beatings instead.
I dun like people, I dun like to talk wif them. I dun wan anyone of them to get close me and hurt me. But still I failed to protect myself..
Just now I said very hurtful comments to someone I cared and loved most. I know he must have hated me alot now. He told me he hate me, very very much and had never loved me all along. I really hoped he said that from his bottom of his heart. I'm glad he said that to me, so tat I can leave this world in peace knowing this.
I am so tired of living on, I can't find any reason for me to continue on. Everyone hates me, I am just a burden to everyone. If I were to leave tis world, it's a release for all. It will bring everyone happiness... If my death can do such great thing, death is nothing to me.
Sorry tat I bring so much sorrow, unhappiness and troubles to people ard me. I hope tat life without me will be a better life for all of you. I love you.
Love YaYa
Since young, I already knew being a human is a torture. I always ask why am I being brought to this world and suffer? Mani times adults think that by providing us gd education and life of everything is being responsible. But did they realise how mani times I was being humiliated in school and how nasty they said abt me and my family? Perhaps they will never get to know as I never mentioned a word to them. There r mani tinks cant b bought by money, like care and concern. I always tink: why dun i get a complete family like my frens do? why dun i get to see my parents daily like my frens do? why dun i get family day like my frens do? No1 gave me the answer before, I dun even dare to ask the adults for fear I will get scoldings and beatings instead.
I dun like people, I dun like to talk wif them. I dun wan anyone of them to get close me and hurt me. But still I failed to protect myself..
Just now I said very hurtful comments to someone I cared and loved most. I know he must have hated me alot now. He told me he hate me, very very much and had never loved me all along. I really hoped he said that from his bottom of his heart. I'm glad he said that to me, so tat I can leave this world in peace knowing this.
I am so tired of living on, I can't find any reason for me to continue on. Everyone hates me, I am just a burden to everyone. If I were to leave tis world, it's a release for all. It will bring everyone happiness... If my death can do such great thing, death is nothing to me.
Sorry tat I bring so much sorrow, unhappiness and troubles to people ard me. I hope tat life without me will be a better life for all of you. I love you.
Love YaYa
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Lies, Lies & Lies
After more tan 7mths, I finally realised that I had never been in love. All those love & promises are nothing but lies only... Stupid arh?
I should have known that right from the start but everytime I had been so naive. No one is true to anyone.. They pretend it for sometink in return. Only if you r of some use or else u r just a pile of rubbish...
Issit so fun to make fun of me and my feeling? Isn't I am a human being as well? Why some people can do it without their conscious? I am just plain stupid, thinking everyone will use their true feeling to treat me but in the end everyone just hurt me.
It's time for me to wake up from my dreams and face the reality. I shall treat it as a lesson learnt but this lesson had been too much for me to take it. Perhaps I am right to choose to abort my baby.. But this nightmare will only follow me alone for the rest of my life.
Stupid YaYa
I should have known that right from the start but everytime I had been so naive. No one is true to anyone.. They pretend it for sometink in return. Only if you r of some use or else u r just a pile of rubbish...
Issit so fun to make fun of me and my feeling? Isn't I am a human being as well? Why some people can do it without their conscious? I am just plain stupid, thinking everyone will use their true feeling to treat me but in the end everyone just hurt me.
It's time for me to wake up from my dreams and face the reality. I shall treat it as a lesson learnt but this lesson had been too much for me to take it. Perhaps I am right to choose to abort my baby.. But this nightmare will only follow me alone for the rest of my life.
Stupid YaYa
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