I wonder how is weiwei doing in school today. He was on diaper-free for the first time yesterday in school but I am not sure why he look so terrified and frightened when he saw me after school. I am not sure why he reacted that way as I spoke with the teacher today and they were surprised too with his reaction. I was told he was doing well yesterday and no one scolded him so they are not sure why he was so scared. Perhaps he is still trying to get used to this major change and not comfortable in going to a new toilet, haha..

I have almost finish washing baby's things except a cot bumper and clothings. Not that I am lazy, is just that I don't want to wash them too early so been dragging the time. Maybe I will start washing them next week provided the weather is on my side, I just hate it that it has to rain daily in the afternoon. Even it doesn't rain, it will only be like once or twice a week only so is really hard to predict and I still have our own clothings to wash as well. And I have to squeeze in a day or two to use febreeze to 'clean' baby toys and mattress, not to mention I need to put them in the sun (again). Need to do things faster to wait for the little one's arrival!

Had a busy night yesterday, went to sg and brought ah b to KKH, suspected fractured wrist as he fell earlier in the noon when he is walking downstair to wait for school bus. He claimed he didn't see where he was walking, he was looking somewhere else (plus i think day-dreaming as well) and thus caused him to fall. His wrist is swollen and unable to move, he didn't tell mum about it until mum came back in the night (buy him dinner). On cast for a week, going back to see bone specialist on thursday to check if he need a permanent cast that can last him for a mth or nothing really serious as the x-ray couldn't see much and the doctor-on-duty in A&E didn't want to take the risk so treated it as fractured wrist first. So his birthday that fall on next saturday will be a day without cake as mum said he can't eat eggs, bean types veges and anything sour. Haiz..

It has been a tiring weekend.. Saturday we went Jusco, buying some baby's stuffs and my confinement items. Thinking of buying them now since it's almost April and didn't want to push it further just in case. Was so happy to see that they are opening Delifrance in May, can't wait to eat it again. ^^ Sunday I followed dear to his office, waited for him about an hour and weiwei started crying after 35mins cause his papa never come back. Haha.. After that we went ikea as the clock in my room is spoilt, we wanted to get extra pillow cases as well (for relatives to use when they are coming over) and we bought some oven stuffs too. I am planning to bake cupcakes during the weekend if dear is not working. Anyway weiwei is so excited over the cakes and he has been choosing over what should I bake for him. =.=

This morning he seems to has a little cough, hope it won't get worse or else he is going to miss school again (that's what he has been hoping!). Shall monitor him for today and decide later if he is able to go tomorrow.

Going to see baby this sunday but not sure if we can make it or not. Dear has been working on sunday for the past 2 weeks and if he need to work this sunday, most probably I will choose not to visit gynae too as I feel it will too rush to buy groceries; visit gynae; lunch and rushing to sg. I didn't want to come back late though dear can go for work later as the kids need to go school the next day. Let's see then..

Has been a busy weekend for me, now my legs are aching due to walking. Haha..

Seen baby on Saturday, he has been growing well. 651g on week24+4days. After that we went to Taka baby fair and bought a few items, doesn't seem to buy many stuffs but it cost us $16x. Let me think what did i buy.. Nipple cream, milk shield collector, breast pads, pacifier, 3 newborn toys (actually I only chose 2 and weiwei wanted to buy the ball for himself+didi, haha), a set of car window shields and a pair of newborn socks. Things are expensive nowadays, haiz.. But I really enjoy buying them and there are some other items I will need to get them by end of next month or 2. To prevent myself forgetting what to buy, I will need to write a list down. And dear has been taking his time to think of a name for baby, he has been lazy plus busy. Hope June will be here soon! ^^

DIY a beansprout bolster for baby, hope baby likes it since my sewing is not as good as the professional, hehe. Took me quite some time to finish it as i was trying to estimate the amount of beansprout to put in. 

Weiwei is still crying in school, i really hope he can get used to it soon. Heartpain to see him cry so badly everyday and the kelian look. I am trying hard not to be soft-hearted and stop letting him go school. Haiz..

There will never be forever happiness or love, they are here and gone before you know it. Perhaps it's a blessing to know it earlier than later. I hope the heart will stop crying and bleeding, it hurts..

Hormones acting up again, feel like crying for no reason again. I need more love, care and attention than ever. Please treat me like an infant and shower me with all the love you can, i need lots of it. :(




Sent from Samsung tablet

Suddenly i am afraid of giving birth, i feel like running away. I even want to pretend baby isnt here, i think i must be crazy now.



Sent from Samsung tablet

I have been sleeping very little for the past 3 days. Though my eyes are closed but i know i was awake. I am not sure why but i have been feeling very depressed for the past few days, it's like unloved/unwanted. The feeling is awful and i hardly able to cope it. Yesterday i couldn't take it and cried several times, trying to relieve the unhappiness inside me. I hate the feeling, i think it must be the hormones changing. I hope my old self will be back soon. :(




Sent from Samsung tablet

I never expected it is that difficult to get my boy to school. This morning he woke up early and i thought we are able to go out early but i was wrong. When he saw his uniform that i intend to change for him, he threw the top onto the floor and lie on the sofa refusing to get up. I tried to take off his pyjames and he was pulling it back, saying no at the same time. After coaxing him for 30mins, nothing is done and i gave up as i didn't want to force him. I know clearly if i had force him to go school, he won't like school again. I hope he will want to go tomorrow.

Dear had gone to KL today and he will only be back until next tues. I am starting to miss him already, sigh. He went to work just now, not sure what time will he be going back to the hotel. I don't think i am able to stay up too late to wait for his msn.

I am so bored at home, i hope to be able to bring weiwei to school soon so my time will pass faster. Jia you baby!

Waited more than 2 hours yesterday but when I saw the screen, all the wait is worth it. I saw her being very excited, jumping up and down and waving her tiny little hand. At 1 point of time, I think I even saw a smile like face. Though the screen is in black and white but I could clearly recognise the face. I can't wait to see her again next month, hope she will let me know her gender then as this time she had her legs all up and showing off her buttocks. =D

I was so upset and angry last night. My boy had his legs on my bed, making me unable to turn and felt so warm thus unable to sleep. Tried to wake him up to move my boy but he slept like dead log. End up I had to sleep on the floor and he still sleep so soundly, at 1 point of time he even sleep over to my side! It started to rain and I cant get back to bed so I had to sleep on the sofa. =(

My boy down with chickenpox while I barely able to eat anything, how worse can it get? Lucky my boy seems well and fine with it or else I think I will be death at a even faster rate. Sigh..

December, december.. When are you coming? I wish it will come real soon and hope I will feel better. Eating meals now seem a torture to me as I hardly can eat it and at the same time I can feel the hunger in me. Arghh....

I feel so unwell, I feel like I am dying everyday. I know all these feelings are good signs but sometimes I really hate it. I know I am indecisive. =(

Time for laugh

Just now I went to topup petrol fuel and after when I am done, I couldn't start my car. I tried like 5-6 times, still unable to start it so I have no choice but to call dear. In the end I forgot to put my gear to N/P. >.< 

I think I must be daydreaming again, don't know I didn't take note of that. Dear definitely will be laughing at me when he come home tonight.

Tomorrow evening I will be facing the answer, I am not thinking of it now. I don't want to stress myself or anyone. :)

I don't know what is truth and what is fake, I don't know to believe or to doubt. I am afraid to believe what I had seen, I am afraid that I will be disappointed. I don't know if I have the courage to face it, I don't know what kind of feeling should I get myself prepared. Everything seems so real and yet so unreal at the same time. I will only know the answer in another week time, what will the answer be and what answer am I hoping..

I thought I will be having a smooth sailing journey, I guess I got too excited. Now I am feeling unwell, nausea has been around for like half an hour and I just feel like going to the toilet to puke. Sigh.. I hope this kind of feeling will not get worse, just stay this way. :( 

It has been such a long long time since I wrote something in my blog, I think partly is because I am plain lazy to update it. I hope I will try to update it more frequent so in the future I will not forget bits and pieces of the memories that I will like to remember. 

Today is the 3rd day dear went Hongkong, he didn't call us in the afternoon so I guess he must be too busy to do so. I can only see him in another week, I wonder if he misses us like how we miss him? 

Decided to spend more time with the family instead of the laptop, my boy has been growing so fast and I hope I can see him more before he doesn't want me to be with him. Haha..