Something cropped up yesterday so didn't manage to go to the workshop. Decide to go on the 19th, right after I come back from Malaysia. Think will be dead tired then, might ask dear to get an earlier bus home bah.

After years of last ate BK's breakfast, we went over yesterday. Well, I didn't manage to finish my share. I gave it to enen and ah b. End up enen ate the most, haha.. We went to City Hall, trying to buy a present for kubao. Yeah, we bought 1 and enen is jealous coz we didn't buy for her. She kept saying she got no toy. Haiz.. She wanted a doll very much but we don't want to spoilt her by buying her present whenever she wants. We promised her to get it for her during her birthday but dear, should be xmas la. Haha... Xmas come first leh..

Popular no longer sells chinese books ar? Suntec outlet didn't sell lo, so disappointed. After walking for hours, we headed home. Maybe not used to go out le, feel tired easily and on our way home, we saw many people coming to town. =O

Cleared rubbish in my laptop, hopefully it can survive in zakum on Saturday. Dear almost fainted when he looked at my recycle bin, 1.4gb of rubbish. Hahahahaha... I am lazy to empty ma and scare later I delete wrongly so put it there just in case. :/

Very warm last night, no mood to go online at all. I just sat there watch tv with family and ate at Ajisen. Hehe...

Mummy thought I avoiding her and kept calling me. Aiya, I forgot my hp in silent mode and didn't realise till this morning. -.-ll Later got to give her a call, if I remember.

YaYa

Been listening to the story for quite some time and very touching so decided to share with friends. The story has been broadcast until episode 23 leh but I kinda of lazy so just link 5 of them here. Is short episode, only around 5 - 10 mins. If anyone wants the rest of the episodes, then I link them lo.

珍惜生命，感受爱！
"东京铁塔之老妈和我"
唤起你对母亲无私付出的感动。。。

Enjoy it!
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5

YaYa

Was considering to registry marriage in sg or msia, not sure if I need to return my rented flat. Called HDB yesterday and got a confirmation that I can go ahead with the marriage in sg. Hohoho... I do not need to return the flat even I get married because he is a msian, he didn't has a long period pass in sg unlike PR and S'porean so they are unable to include his income.

MOM will be sending another approval letter next week so I guess everything settled. But hor, I still haven't make up my mind yet. Hahahaha...

Visiting his parents 2 weeks from now. Task that I don't like, haiz... Somehow I still feel his parents don't like us (my kids & me la) and some more they have yet to know that we intend to get married. He wanted to inform them when we visit them but I tell him not to. Is hard to react and perhaps might get into argument. I guess I am the one who can't take their disagreement and unhappiness. Imagine if your son bring his gf home for the first time and tell you they are getting marry. I guess most of you will be stunned and speechless, it's a unexpected situation bah?

Lalala... Don't want think so much, take a step at each time. =P

YaYa

Don't know why I been feeling unhappy, I just don't feel like smiling. Even I do smile, they are fake too. Maybe I haven't adjust my feeling that Janet is no longer here. It seems that someone planned to have her leave. Almost everyone in the company didn't know her leaving, everyone was just as surprised as us. Really don't understand why there is such people who used underlying hand to get things done. What's goes round come round, I firmly believe that.

Suddenly feel this company so cold and unfeeling. I will definitely not going to spend my life here. If they are leaving me here, I going to leave next year after bonus.

YaYa

Last night mummy called me. She talked to ah b ytd morning and ah b told her that we are moving but he didn't know where he is moving to.

Well, she told me don't move to JB. JB is unsafe, land expensive, unable to re-sell in future etc. Though she keep saying that she is not forcing me, only giving me advice and want me to consider carefully but I know she meant well. Mummy, I know you won't do us harm.

Both dear and me felt that JB and KL is of the same. Definitely sg is more safer than msia, i admit that too. If we were to move to KL, then we will not be seeing mummy much le and perhaps only once a year (Chinese New Year lo). KL not safe, penang not safe, JB not safe... Everywhere is not safe..

Actually we had been thinking to sign the papers or not. Did I mention that we only pay a deposit and have yet to sign the document? I wanted to have a home of my own, my dream house like the one we seen last week, to avoid that idiot but on the other hand, I am worried also. I don't know if I will ruin the kids' future or not. But I know education here proved to be too much for ah b to handle. And looking at the current situation, I can't just quit my job and stay at home to coach him. Standard of living here is very high, not much people can do that.

Let dear find out if there is any international school around the neighbourhood before we decide bah. Didn't sleep well last night, sigh..

YaYa

Sometimes thing just don't go your way.
I thought I found a close friend at work but no. I thought finally I found someone I can chat with when I am bored at work but no.
Janet was dismissed today, with immediate effect. It's really depressing and surprise. Both of us had no idea what happened and suddenly she was informed to leave. The reason they gave her was she is unable to click well with the rest of admins "aunties". What has it got to with her performance? I don't understand what are they thinking and guess neither do they understand us. Is this what we called generation gap? Frankly speaking, I don't really get along well with them as well. Only Janet and me are of the near age group, the rest are old enough to be my mummy le and not to mention most of them are 老姑婆.

She gave me many of her stuffs, said they are of no use now. Maybe she doesn't want to be remind of the sad incident so she gave them to me. She cried earlier when she told me today was her last day, I do not how to comfort her. She bought many things, there are a mini radio, choco bars, potato chips, a small pillow, a bear, a pencil case and a lunch box (to put biscuit i think). From her, I saw my old self. I used to bring many personal stuffs to work too but slowly I stopped. I feel is easier to pack my things one day I leave the company and perhaps not so much feelings being invested in it too. I kept everything in my drawer, locked it before I go home. Most probably I won't be using them in the office too, bringing them home when I am not lazy.

I got a feeling that my turn will be coming very soon. First, my probation period ends this mth and I have yet to receive confirmation letter. Second,  I had took a lot of leaves and mc during my work period. (Janet only took a day of mc and around 2 days annual leave?) I guess the reason that I have not asked to leave is because recently the contract dept has been very busy and couldn't cope without someone helps. Well, my job scope is to give a hand to them so I don't think they would want to retrain a new girl at this busy time. Time to look at newspaper recruitment ads and internet jobs agency. Haiz... I don't pin much hope in working long in this company but I would really hope that it can last me till next year after bonus. =(

Anyone want to cheer me up? :'(

YaYa

Ate spaghetti just now at lunch, yummy. Thanks dear, they are delicious. Janet been eating with me for almost 3 weeks or more (can't remember) and as usual, we went for a walk after lunch. Went to borders, wanted to find my book but found out they don't sell chinese novels. Zzz... After a round, we walked over to Shaw House and were thinking where to go and suddenly remember I need to buy a bdae present for kubao. Haiz... Only left 15mins to shop so we rushed up to kids' dept.

Clothes - Kubao in childcare now so hardly has the chance to wear nowadays.
Toy - Her mummy will end up keeping it in the store room without letting her play. Lazy mummy.
Rest - No idea what to buy.

Walk to hello kitty section and found a few pretty stuffs. Bought a hairband and a comb.

Nice mah? Photo for comb is not clear coz the wrapping got no opening for me to take out unless I tear up. Thinking of giving one of them to kubao but haven't decide yet. Might not be suitable for her.

Aiyo, is really hard to decide what to get for her ar. Give some hint leh.. Or else I might come empty-handed, haha..

YaYa

Yesterday I told one of my colleagues (of coz friendly and able to talk wif de) that I bought a landed house in JB. Wanted some advices regarding my buying as many of friends said we bought so fast. He said it was a good investment, he mentioned land price will only go up and it will never go down. Haha.. I clever right? =D

Last night went supermarket to buy groceries, was too tired on Sunday. Aiyo, NTUC didn't stock up the vegetables at all. Hardly any vegetables left and most of them is already rotting. Sian, bought very limited vegetables. STOCK UP DAILY! What am I going to eat la?! Zzzz...

I realise nowadays I am not as interested in games as in the past. Last time I would maple/cabal daily but now after surfing 5 mins, I would off my laptop and watch tv. I guess I am getting bored and tired of it le, haha.. I don't mind, at least I get to spend more time with my family.

I was wondering if dear really love the house design like me or did he buy it because I love it. I know he will buy it as long as I like regardless he like it or not. We started to discuss how to put stuffs in the house last night and I feel so happy about it. (I know is like too early but who cares. =P) I felt like a small kid on Sunday during house viewing. I kept looking around and said "Waaa... the house so big!!" Dear must be laughing at me in his heart lo. -.-ll

Came to work early today, reached work place at 7.45am. Dear got OT this morning, need to reach client's place by 7.30am so I got to bring enen to childcare. Was worried that I will spend some time in childcare so I left the flat early, haiz..

YaYa

After 2 days, I am more settle down and no longer so upset.

18th April
Was so angry with him. No presents, no sms or calls for xmas, valentine day or my birthday. He even forget my birthday last year and I was the one who reminded him on that day itself. I scolded him, venting all my anger out. Keep saying how much he love me etc but I don't see that in his action. Fine, no time to buy present ( I can accept that) but not even a single sms?! Crap la. I got him out of my sight, I don't want to see him on my birthday.

19th April
Woke up early that day, around 7am. Still feel upset and angry. Felt being taken for granted. Searching the net but was listening to my music folder most of the time. Shut my door since I switching the music at a high volume. Due to the fact that the music had cover up all the surrounding noise, I didn't know he came back later in the noon time. He went to buy me a cake which I mentioned to him that I like it. The cake looks very pretty, I saw it in a brochure that Singtel sent me 2 weeks ago. He keep asking for forgiveness and stayed outside of my room. He promised me that he will put in more effort in future but I didn't take it seriously.
Your promises are meant to be broken.
Sorry if you feel hurt but I can't bring myself to believe you now. Let time show me that you really keep all your promises. If you can' keep it, I rather you don't promise in the first place. It really hurt me every time u break it, do you realise that?

Cake nice ma? Is a ice-cream cake.

See they enjoy the cake so much.

20th April
Woke up early in the morning, intending to go JB to view houses. We were there too early and had no choice but walking around at the shopping centre there. By 11am, I was tired and frustrated. He kept bringing us walking and most of the time, he brought us to the wrong place. I threw temper and he left us in the shopping centre. In the end I lost my way there and don't know walk to where. I DIDN'T HAVE A SINGLE CENT ON MY WALLET AND COULDN" EVEN BUY A DRINK!!! End up he also walked a long way to find me, haha.. Serve you right for dumping us at shopping centre.
After sitting down for sometime, we went over to house viewing. I didn't want to come back again, I have phobia liao.
Looked at 6 models at the office and both of us were interested in one of them. The rest are either too expensive, sold out or design look weird (1 of the rooms is big enough to put 2 single beds while the other room is like maid room lo). We requested to look at showflat, drawings and models are always prettier. I work in architecture firm so I know that very well. The showflat is at the site ( the one we are interested) and it was raining so the ground is very muddy. Lucky the representatives there drive us there, right to the doorstep.
IT WAS A BIG BIG HOUSE! You got to see it yourself. I could never imagine the size of the house by looking at the floorplan. I loved that alot. There is nothing to complain.
Looking at the site plan, we realise majority of the house are sold and only left a few lots. So we decided to get a lot instead of coming back next week. I don't want to get disappointed only to find out the house I like is sold out.
Dear chose a middle lot with extra land. So my house will have a nice garden beside my house. Haha... Come visit next year when the house is completed next year April. (sound like my birthday present hor? =D)
No photos to look at, forgot to take. We are too excited at house viewing. Look at the drawing first, will take photos next year. =)
90 degree 1

YaYa

Didnt eat anything since ytd evening.. No appetite, no desire on eating anything. Don't think I am eating today as well. =)
I take it as a chance to slim myself down. Who care? I dun care if I am going to eat or not, just let it be. Anyway, I can save $ by not eating. On second thought, wad's the point of saving so much? Don't know and don't bother.

My special birthday present

I broke up wif dear last night. =)

Don't wish to talk about it.

Happy birthday to myself...

Pretty ma? This is my first birthday present I received this year and last year. -.-ll

I am so happy and surprised as I didn't expect to receive it. It was done (yes, is done not bought) by a very close colleague of mine, Janet Koh. =D

She is very bad.. Threw it in a super big envelope with choco sweets and biscuit. I didn't open it earlier as we were talking during lunch time that she complain of having too much food at her desk and unable to finish it. I said give part of it to me jokingly and she really did that. I think it must part of her excuse bah. Haha... But nevertheless, I really appreciate it. Thank you Janet!

Dear, where is my present ar? Though I am happy now but I still need presents on special occasions you know? I am depressed now, dear never buy presents for me on my birthday and valentines' day. Sad la.. I am considering to change bf soon. =P

YaYa

Nothing much to do today ,as usual. Supervisor is super busy, think might las another week. Hee..

Yesterday me and dear went to a website to view the house in JB. Actually there are 2 locations near sg but the location nearer to sg is not ready yet, the estimate completion date is nov 09. Aiyo, so long and we have to put in delay as well so we gave up. The other area is 20mins away from sg and most of them are in completed units. Click the link below and check out the houses there. Do leave me any recommendation on which type is nicer. I cannot make up my mind, hee.. Might be going over this sunday to view the neighbourhood. His colleague staying at that area so he will be driving us around. I am looking forward on house viewing. =D

Available Properties

YaYa

Spent hours reading someone's blog and end up getting myself into sorrow mood. Many memories came back to me, something that I had tried so hard to forget. Yes, till now I still unable to forgive that idiot. I guess I wont b able to do so in my lifetime.

Suddenly a thought came to me.. Will dear change into another person in future? Will the dreams he give me become a nightmare?

Perhaps I think too much, perhaps I still feel very insecure. I know he is trying his best to show me. He stays at home after work, he don't go out during off days and he accompany me whenever I am at home. I dont know why I still feel insecure, issit b coz the bad past I had or issit b coz people around me have been getting divorced and breakup? It seems to be a trend that partners are having affairs and some of them were like such close couple in the beginning. Something that you would never expect when they are so loving.

SNAP IT OUT!

There are many couples out there being happy together till now. Not everyone will end up into breakup.
"Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Quote from Forest Gump
YaYa

Yesterday I was at home watching tv, didn't go maple. Maybe i am tired of mapling after more than 14 hours of mapling on saturday. -.-ll

Later in the evening, I download Cabal. Been wanting to try the game but was kinda of lazy to install it. Being tired of maple, i decided to try cabal. Hmm... Though is the same killing monster like maple, but is still confusing. The way the chars walk, the way u look at the screen and the main keys it was set are totally different from maple. I was so confused and don't know what I am doing there (I still don't know).

Lawrence, I keep dying in cabal lor. T.T Do they deduct my exp de ma? I didn't take note actually, haha..

The other thing is hor, cabal and maple don't use the same prepaid card. LAME! Both are of the same company, why must separate it? So ma fan.. Never mind lo, just that I don't buy cabal prepaid card. Hee.. I save $ le lor.

Today my supervisor went site again and won't be back till tomorrow. Haha... I am free again!

Kopi and mei ar, must teach me how to look pretty ar. =D
I want to look pretty at the end of the year. Can go shopping with me ma? =P Not so soon lar, few more months lar.

Really looking forward to this saturday. MY BIRTHDAY!!! Though there isn't any celebration but I got to spend the day with dear. He promised to treat me to KFC, hee. I know is not a big deal but is the thought that counts. I wanted to eat KFC for quite some time le but was waiting till saturday. Yummy...

YaYa

Been discussing with my dear for the past few days and decided to move to JB instead of KL. Mei, next time you still can put kubao at my house while you go for holiday liao.

Well, we did some detail thinking and discussion. First, he is applying PR for us so there might be a chance that I will not allowed to work (like sg) during that period so he is the only one working. And also, we can't really find anyone to take care of the kids if I were to work. Malaysia is different from Singapore, it is just not as safe there. So leaving them alone at home is totally out of the question. If we were to stay at JB, he could find a job in sg and travel out daily like his colleague to work. So the salary he is taking home will be double of what he is earning. This way, even I am not allowed to work before getting PR, we can still coping comfortably. And also, the houses in JB is so much cheaper than those in KL. Condo in KL cost more than 200k while in JB it only cost less than 100k. Cheap hor?! Even terrace house only cost around 170k.. Where to find such good price in sg wor? But our main priority is to have a safe environment. Frankly speaking, JB is not as safe as KL so must choose carefully. We are intending to look around soon and hopefully to move there next year.

Dear don't seems very happy in his work area now so he can find another job after we move there. His company kiasu, need to give 3 months' notice to resign, siao de. Any recommendation on which area in JB is good? =D

Big happening in maple since the patch occurred yesterday. Zakum get extra channel and is getting very messy now. *No eye to see* My zakum was brought forward to 3rd May but seems to be crush with others, don't know what's going on now. Kinda of confuse, haiz.. Pet looting bug has been solved, at least seems to be. My bandit has no problem in getting the leftover even when she pot right before the pet picks up. Some maps have changed, really sad about that. The place I used to hunt honey had changed and now I really hate it. Last time though nependeath is not much there but at least they don't spit at you. Now the map changed into purely nependeath and dark nependeath. And the worse thing is EVERY SINGLE NEPENDEATH SPIT AT YOU. Is really pot consuming and I can't even get near to it without getting damage by it. Sad lar, I'm leaving that place. Goodbye my honey. I can no longer hunt you, is just too pain to kill them. :/ Lucky my beginner left with 4% and she can leech in jr yeti ler, haha... Mei, you can come jr yeti to train liao. =D

Got to go to work, can't write more. P.S.: my supervisor not at office today, so I can surf the net for the whole day. So happy..

YaYa

HAPPY HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually was feeling down for the past few days. Not because of quarrelling with anyone or what, is because of my cough. The cough seems to get worse and I went to see company doctor yesterday afternoon and realise I got URTI. Sad lor, got so many problems in such short period. At the same time, I am feeling skin allergy also. Itch everyday till I cannot take it. The upgrading at my area make me allergy (the dust lo), I have to change my bedsheet and clean my floor frequently to prevent itch. This is so sad... In case you do not know what is URTI, go google it. Internet is there for a purpose. Hahaha..

I took annual leave today, really need time to study for my exams tomorrow. I couldn't concentrate because of tiredness and coughing. Just now went play maple awhile since I just woke up, mind still sleeping. Guess what happened? I FOUND NEPENDEATH HONEY IN LESS THAN 30 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!! Wahahaha... I can't stop laughing, is like win first prize in 4D. Everyone know that honey is super rare in maple, the price for one is as high as 12mil and it let me find it. I think I will be laughing in my dreams tonight. Let you see my honey, pretty ma? =D


10.30am ler, time to study. Wish me good luck ar.
*Borrow kopi's fairy godmother and ask her to give me luck to pass with flying colours tomorrow.*

YaYa

14 MAY 2008 <<< Looking forward to this day.

Finally I am going zakum for the first time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After day-dream for duno how many times.
It was a private zakum ok? Mean I do not need to fight, stand aside to wait zakum die and walk over to pick my helmet. Wahahaha... I can't wait for that day to arrive.
I got this special zakum slot is because of my kindness. I created a help cass players to collect quest items and one of the high level helper decided to help us to get helmet as a appreciation. I was really very touched and surprise, I had never expected that my little small gesture would bring me reward.

Wanted to bring my beginner to zakum at first but was told that I was supposed to add hp right from the start so she is out for now. Wanted to bring my bandit to zakum but on second thought, she seems useless in there. I am torn between my priest and bandit, who should I bring over? Advise please..

Today I didn bring lunch to work, throat still uncomfortable and don't have appetite to eat anything. Been coughing badly nowadays, so sad.. Anyone has any ways to help reduce my cough? T.T

Wednesday le and I have not started on my QS when my exams is on Sat. Think I really need to take a day leave on friday to study. But I couldn't get my motivation to study.. Haiz.. God bless me..

YaYa

As i promised, our new logo for guild is here! Nice mah? Hehe..

Throat still don't feel well.. T.T
Nope, is not sore throat but just don't feel good whenever I swallow. Always wanted to put strepsil by my side but as usual, forgotten about it. :/

Thinking of not taking leave this friday to study, seems that I have taken too many leaves this year. Wanted to leave some maybe at the end of the year and have a good rest. I wonder if I can study during work or not. Haiz...

Joel sick again, dear went to fetch him home from school. See lar, last night already told you not to let Joel go school and his fever is coming. Don't believe me, now u got to fetch him yourself. Is your decision, your responsibility. =P

Hmm... Last night we make another new guild again. This time it has a cute name, ShortCakeS (with a strawberry logo!). Kaya and loti helped to sponsor for the guild, a million each from them. Still have yet to think of the ranking names yet, all of us were tired after making guild. It was near to 12 midnight le u know? Will try to upload a pic of the guild name with logo after I get home from work. =D Kopi, MUST sponsor $$$ for guild de hor. Is expensive to expand ar, must help abit.

YaYa

Been on mc for 2 days and finally got back to work today. Was so bored doing nothing at home other than maple. Not that it's not fun to maple, just that is boring to have no one to talk to.

Went to Tiong Bahru Plaza yesterday to buy BK home, was crazing for mushroom swiss for weeks. I took a bus there, was lazy to walk there as it was a hot afternoon. The bus was packed with people so was waiting to alight but there was a boy who alighting the same bus stop with me seemed to be of no patient to wait and kept asking me to move aside to let him alight. Annoying that he couldn't even wait for the bus to open the door and there is no place to move anyway, I replied him back that I am alighting at this bus stop too.  Geez...  I wonder what they learn in school nowadays, can't they even wait awhile. I was even on phone telling my friend that I had reached my stop and alighting now. Guess that boy was deaf as well/ =p

My beginner char had leeched my bandit till she is level 41 now. Haha... She will soon overtake liu lian's warrior char who is only level 42.

Zec asked me few days ago how would I react if he were to present me with a ring (in maple of course). Well, I didn't think much saying that might have to depend if my char is married by then since he will only be back to maple on aug. I guess liu lian won't or to be exact can't mind if I were to marry some other guy in maple. He can't expect me to wait him indefinitely right?

Got to go back to work, looking forward to go home in less than hour time. Kelian de dear at home, sick and frustrated with his manager. =(

Don't be angry dear, I will come home to accompany you as much as possible. Do cheer up, I want to see your big smile when I get home. =D

YaYa

Don't be surprise when you log into maple, because I had disband the guild. Really don't see the point of holding onto it when I am usually the only person who is online. Kinda of sad and disappointed but whatever... Only meso lost and nothing else... Take note that I had delete all my buddy list since I no longer know who is still playing and who is not.

A Truth

Nowadays my life is getting so much easier. My son now started to insist on him fetching the sister home after school. Haha... Enen has tuition every Monday and Thursday so I got to fetch her after 6.30pm but I reach home daily around 6pm leh. So since Ah B wanted to fetch her, I let him be. I agree that Ah B is very independent, he doesn't need much supporting. Once you teaches him once or twice, he would do it himself.

I maple last night, for passing time since dear was working OT (he came back quite late, ard 11pm). Was almost going to log out and jie came online. Was kinda of surprise as she hardly or perhaps never came to Cass. She told me to add her dar into guild and suddenly she threw a bomb to me; she is getting separation and divorce while the dar I added is her real life bf. OMG... I really had never expected that they will be divorcing since they had known each other for so long. If I didn rmb wrongly, they had been together for almost 10 years. I had no idea what happen between them, jie don't talk much about it and I know she doesn't like people to probe into her relationship. Mei, don't tell anyone in our family hor. Jie wants to tell them herself ar, later she kill me. -.-ll

Asked a bit of her bf though. His name is Jeff, a malaysian too. He is 22 years old this year (so young lor). I am kinda of concern about their relationship not that they are having a big age gap. It was later in the chatting, I realise jie hides many things about her life and family. Firstly, the bf doesn't know jie's real age (he tout she is 28 lo), he doesn't know she is married wif a child and getting divorce in few years time. I am not sure how much facts jie hides from him and how Jeff going to react when he know the truth. I guess he will definitely be angry and upset...

I always think that one has to be truthful or else you have to giving a lie to cover up the original lie you had said. Malaysians are more conservative, they will need some time to accept one who is divorced or with kid(s). Dear's parents took almost a year to start to accept me and the kids. At least dear knew my background right from the start so he has accept me even before we are together. However, for jie's case, is like lying lo. I mean if he doesn't accept you as who you are, this kind of person doesn't deserve your love at all. I truly hope that jie will find her own happiness.. Jie, I really advice you to let him know the truth. The longer you keep it from him, the angrier he will be.

YaYa

Blur Me :/

Finally I got back all my projects results. =D Guess how did I fare? I am happy with the result, my effort had paid off. *Dancing around*

My QS trainer sent an email to us on Sunday night, informing us to do the past year qns before coming to class but it was a last minute decision and I was kinda of lazy too. I dragged it till around 9pm before I was forced by dear to finish them. *Don't like you le, bad dear* Took me about 2 hours to finish them and meanwhile, I keep complaining I was tired and wanted to sleep. Haha.. Who like to do homework?

Anyway, lucky I went to search my paper or else I wouldn't know that I actually remember the wrong date for exam. Not actually wrong date, is wrong subject. I thought QS exam is on the 12th but actually it was on the 5th. I know I blur lar! At least I realise it before it was too late right? Haiz... Got to study next week then. Must understand and memorise formulas, meaning etc.

I started to hate my English in class, need to do summary and essay. Urghhh... I hate summary, don't know how to do that. *Sob sob* Never mind, shall go and get some help around. Hehe...

Today not very busy at work, supervisor went for meeting so I am able to use the pc with internet. Haha.. I always forget to update my blog when I get home, too many things to do. =D

Must remember to bring my medical result to work tomorrow, have to pass it to my HR. Dear, remind me to keep in my bag tonight ar.. (as if he read my blog)

YaYa

Went supermarket just now as usual. When we were done, enen wanted to push the trolley so we let her be. Actually the trolley is much heavier than her, we have 2 2 litres milk, 5kg rice, vegetables, etc. inside. She was making alot of noise when she was pushing it so dear decided to make a video of her. Guess what happen? Go watch it and you will find out. ^^

YaYa

Aiyo... Don't know why keep raining de, aren't we supposed to be having hot month now? I think mother earth is angry with us le, changing our climate. Today I heard from news that by 2020, HongKong will no longer have winter liao. Haiz... Maybe in future all countries change their climates. -.-ll

Very busy at work today, supervisor on urgent leave. Actually hor, I got nothing to do even he is around, just that I had to print Portfolio and took a long time printing. The stupid printer keep jammed my papers, make me sat there and wait till every piece is done.

Dear Dear been busy for this past 2 weeks, no time for me. T.T
He is rushing project(s), so has to stay back quite late. No choice lor, work comes first. At least he can save more money in our account. ^^

Why my maple cards haven't mail to me yet? Should be arriving le, don't know what take the sellers so long. I am actually thinking if they are going to scam me or not. F5
Never mind, I wait till next week bah.

Just now I was happily walking home with enen, thinking I can finally come home and rest after working for the whole day. To my horror, I realise I forgot to bring my keys out lor! I blur lar, didn't remember I put in my school bag. Then I got no choice, call dear dear and he rush home and pass me his set. Dear dear, u r the best le. Muacks..

Got to watch bleach liao... Oh yah, yesterday I got the result for my ES project, got an A. Muhahahaha... I am clever de. =D

YaYa

Didn't come here very long time ler, busy with my studies mah. Next month exams liao, don't know if I can remember all the formulas or not. Haiz...

My area doing major upgrading and it will end only next year 3rd quarter. I kinda of hate upgrading coz it will bring in so many dust and must take leave to let them come into my flat to do. Sian lo, now all my leave struck with the upgrades. Wondering if I can choose not to participate or not. Haha...

Time really passes really fast, I worked at my current company for 5 months le. Excuse me, it might be short for you but that is the longest period I ever work for. Seriously, I hope that I could work till I have graduate and find new job. Intending to get a job in government sector and go home on time. Haha...

Yesterday I quarrelled with my ex. He is such a liar and idiot, as usual. Last week he told me that he just changed job and his old company had not pay him yet. He claimed that he will only receive it on the 7th. Then I also anything lo, let him transfer on the 7th since I save up all my maintenance $ in my savings. Then yesterday I check my account and as expected, $ not in yet so I sms him. Now he claimed that his company say mail him cheque and ask me to wait again. This time I angry and told him straight that I won't wait lo, I go family court on sat and let them chase for me. Last time he also say changed job and make me chase for it for few months. That time easier since he need me to sign papers to sell flat but I also tired of chasing. Then he complain I don't allow him to visit the kids, of course I shoot him back. Told him last year I am only free on sat afternoon so visiting will only be then and must let me know in advance that he want visit so I don't plan anything ma. He expect me to stay@home every sat to wait if he want visit or not. Dream on lo, that won't happen. I even said if you really want to see the kids, take the initiative to call me, not expecting me to call u. Next thing he complain is I don't allow him to bring the kids out. Who dare to do that, and hor, I got PPO against him de. I told him, go ask the lawyer if he can do so or not. Meeting kids is my limit, don't expect me to allow them to go out with you lo. Guess what? When I said I going family court on sat, he immediately has $ to xfer me. It show that he is trying not to pay me.

Now I am trying to save as much as I can, I want to move to malaysia asap. Haha... By then, he won't be able to disturb me le. Freedom, here I come~

YaYa

So tired... Yesterday went to my company D&D after being persuaded by a few of colleagues... It's a good experience but I don;t think I will be going again the next time. It was very tiring and food don't taste nice. T_T It was held at St Regis hotel, one of the 5 star hotel in Singapore but just opened around 2 months or so. The main reason my company chosen that place is because it was built by us. >.< Took a few photos of the food and surrounding but group photo is in my colleague's digital camera, might get from her next week bah. But forgotten to take picture of the dessert, was laughing at one of the games there. Food and surrounding look pretty, even the toilet too. Haha... The games were so dragging, occupy most of the time. Haiz... Only 1 of the games was entertaining, the rest I dun even bother to look at it. The finding Mr RSP/SM was just a coverup, they actually got those guys to toilet to change into singlet while the real motive was being told to us. They wanted us to find the guy who has the hairest armpit. Couldn't stop laughing when they were being asked to make pose in order to let us see and they had no idea wad is going on. The dinner took very long to end, I left before it was officially end coz I am too tired. I guess it ended around 12.30am or even later since I left around 11.40pm, was afraid that I couldnt get the last bus home. I dun want to waste $ on cab since the taxi fare was up. Don;t have the mood to do my project, still feeling sleepy now. Might be doing later or perhaps next week, brain dead...
Upload some photos for you to see, dun see i lazy ar.

YaYa

Just started my course recently. Class is very quiet, hardly you hear anyone talk there and the lecturer wanted us to do project as a group of 4 or 5. =.=
Don't have much confidence since I do not know anyone there and not sure if I can mix around well with them or not.

Ah b had transfer to a new school few days ago. I didn  bother to find a school for him, it was his previous school did on my behalf. He was abt an hr late for school on Mon, I even thought he got lost or something happened to him. He told dear he was going out at 11.40am but the teacher sms me to inform me that ah b didn come to school at 1.10pm. I got worried, took a half day urgent leave, intending to search for him. Guess wad happen to him? In the end, he told me he was at home eating his lunch and only finishing the food, he went to school. OMG, he took 2 hrs to ate everything! Anyway on the same day, school inform me that they had found him a nearby school and willing to accept him so we got a immediate school transfer for him.

Though his previous school claimed that they did it for his safety but somehow I felt that they are trying to get rid of him due to his condition. Ah b has autism and couldn't get very well with classmates in school. He can't concentrate in class too, always day dream and do wadever he like (eg. drawings). I don't really blame them, it is difficult to take care of such student and he nid 1 to 1 attention when the teachers had to take care like 30-40 students each time?

Perhaps getting him into a new environment might do him good. Currently he is taking school bus, he doesnt nid to take public transport or walk to school so in a sense, it is much safer for him too. The only disadvantage is he nid to go down to wait for school bus in time since the bus dun wait for anyone who is late.

I have been mapling much lesser compared to the past, spending more time with my family instead. Bringing them to swimming every week, they are looking forward to it and are very eager to go as well. Kids will be kids, all of them just love playing water. I used to love to go to the swimming pool too when I was young. I still remember we need to walk quite a distance to the swimming pool as we dont live near to it.

I have learn to cherish what I have now and try to spend more time on stuffs I know they are important to me, I do not want to regret in future when I do not have a chance to do so. My friends, I hope everything go well for you as well. Take care!

YaYa

LaLaLaLa

Been busy ever since I started working, coz I nid to maple and work at the same time. Haha...

First job that I had stayed for 2 months, hopefully I can stay at this job till I am done. Going to study next week or so, starting on 7th Jan. Finally I can fulfill my job of studying, was hoping to go for a long time. I chose to study my accounting again, mostly is because of the good pay and easy to find job, secondly is I hope to be able to get employed till I retired. Now being a single parent, I have to think for myself and my kids. After going through my previous marriage, I realise that I cannot depend on anyone, especially men. I want to support myself financially, I do not want to depend on any men again. MEN CANNOT BE TRUST!

During my first day of work, there was another new girl came into the company with me. Felt kinda of happy with someone new like me and even came in the same day as me. However, she quitted the job less than 2 months after we started there. She couldn't tolerate the seniors there and the way of getting work done there. She face more obstacles than me since she was sitting right where all the ladies are while I am sitting alone in the library. Obviously I do not need to face any "black" faces or "I am more senior than you so you have to respect me" faces. Though I didn't talk much with her but still feel kinda of sad that she left so soon. I thought we could be good friends as time passes. Haiz..

Did anyone of you celebrate xmas this year? I didn't, was sick... So sad... Anyway I didn't manage to order my log cake in time too. Urghhh... But never mind, since I ate it a week before xmas. ^^ Anyway, Merry Xmas to my friends! Hope all of you had fun this year!!

YaYa

Hate the weather!!!

Had not been feeling well since last week. Weather kip changing every now and then. Sunny one moment and raining the next moment.

My ger got fever on friday, she was complaining more and showing discomfort early in the morning. Somehow I felt she is not feeling very well and decided to stay @ home with her. And I was right, she started to feel feverish an hour later. So I brought her to the polyclinic. Haiz... Waited for 2 hrs outside the consultation room before my turn. By the time she got to see the doc, her fever shot up to 39.8 degree. Lucky she got better the next day. =)

However, my turn to fall sick on sunday afternoon. Walk around the neighbourhood like a clown to find a clinic that is opened. And guess what?! The one and only clinic that open daily is just near my house and yet I walked to MRT to find it. Zzz...

Dear fall sick ytd, fever too. I wonder if fever do spread among family or not since every one of us get fever one after another. I know by common sense it don't and won't but after seeing the 3 of us falling sick, I started to doubt my own knowledge. =p

Today kinda of boring at work. There wasn't anything for me to do for the whole morning. I took my own sweet time to finish reading the newspaper and sat there staring at my pc. I actually started to day dream and falling asleep and almost had my head drop onto the desk. Haha~

Decided to go walk around during lunch time to ease my boredom. Met dear and went Isetan to get presents for enen and caiyong. Not sure if they like it or not (hope they do). Dear refuse to let me make the payment, he insist of paying for it. Zzz... He think he is very rich ar, everything also wan to snatch and pay.

I want to go maple le. Oh yah, I have deleted my Babywawa and create it at cass. Missed the ign and decided to bring her over.

Take care all my dear friends, hope you won't fall sick like me.

YaYa

Itchy Itchy Itchy!!!

This past week I had been biten by unknown insect. At first i thought there is mosquito in my house so I put those mosquito coil and adaptor at my room but duno why the situation didn get better but worse. Today I bought my Mopiko to work, I cannot stand the itch anymore. I only realise then it was from my office. Zzzzzzzz....

 

Something is biting me in office but not sure what was that, my supervisor will ask for insect spray tomorrow and spray in the office. Now I look so kelian, wif 7 bites on hands and legs. T.T

 

Hope things will get better tomorrow bah. *Sad*

 

YaYa

Tired Week

It has been a very long time since I last visit my blog. Was busy with house moving, settling down & finding a job.

 

Finally my flat was sold and lucky I got a rented flat just 5 days before my official date to hand my keys to the new owner. Didn manage to wait for the selection of flat letter to arrive, I got my flat in the walk-in selection. Though not really a place that I wanted, but I guess is still ok as long as I do not need to move so many times.

 

Found a childcare for enen and sad to say that I couldnt get a schoolbus for ah b so in the end I taught him to travel to and forth himself. I wanted to find a job, was getting very bored to stay at home doing nth but maple daily. Cant waste my life that way... And I wanted to save more money for the future, things are more and more expensive. I need to think of their education in future too.

 

Wanted to get a job but was lazy to go interviews. I just simply hate interviews, always asking me to describe myself. I hated such topic since I was in secondary school, I never chose such topic to answer anyway. And I dun really like to talk much in front of strangers, had been very quiet during the interview. Haiz... I really cant find anything to ask or talk wif them at all... Keep forcing me to ask them qns...

 

After that, been searching for job quite infrequently coz getting to be fussy. I wanted to get a job without doing OT, wanted a 5-days work and wanted a place near my house. Those that I feel far or inconvenient, I just skipped it. Wad's the point of going to interview when it dun even get to my expectation. I hope to get a job to work for a few years, at least till I finish my studies. Don't want to find another job in near future, don't have that feeling to do so.

 

Recently found a job in Orchard Rd, quite a big company and near my house too. ^^ That is a architect company, heard from the senior there that it was one of the biggest company in singapore. Started my work there since 1st nov, people there are pleasant and friendly too. At least I havent met nasty people yet and I hope I wont get the chance to meet one too.

 

I will be working alone at my desk starting on Mon as my senior is required to go up to assist the rest of the colleagues there. Haiz... Till now I still didn manage to remember most of them. Think I have a hard time finding the architect for quite some time...

 

Still mapling but not as much as in the past. Now I have stop playing my dit and concentrate on my priest, missed her so much. Tired... hope to write more frequent here.

 

YaYa

Things back to normal, at least by looking at the surface..

None of us mentioned about that incident anymore, perhaps is just too pain to say it out. Occasionally I will still throw temper and cried asking for breakup, I nid to be alone. Living alone somehow make me feel better, i duno why either.

Watched transformer yesterday, not a bad movie. Was kinda of surprise to see the place was almost full, i thought there wont b so mani people watching since it was up for quite some time. The graphics are awesome, though quite a numbers of friends including him find the last part quite confusing. They couldn figure out who is the bad & good guys, wahahaha~ I figure it out looking at the colour on them and I could recognise 1 or 2.

Was tired when get home after the show but I still managed to get myself to log into maple, had an appt wif my jr ldr. We are in charge for aug guild event, we nid to discuss the details. But he pop a qns to me which I couldn answer. He asked me to be his maple gf... He knew abt me in real life. Actually those who asked me in guild, I had honestly told them abt my background, dun feel the need to hide it. I just couldn figure it why he would asked me instead of the gers in guild. I had oni rejoin back this guild recently. Less than a wk... I had only met him few days ago. Haha... Maybe he had been rejected by all the gers in maple liao. I feel that wadever ans I gave him, it will make us feel uneasy in maple. Because he had already hint those active in guild.... What shld I do? =.=

Eyes pain, nid go rest liao. Hope I will feel better later.. T_T

YaYa

I'm been in daze for the past few days, I couldnt eat nor sleep. My tears couldnt stop flowing out from my eyes too. I didnt want to see anyone or talk to anyone, I had my hp switched off.

I have been dreaming of my baby for the past couple of days. Dreams can be so wonderful and sweet yet it really hurt one when you come back to reality.

I kip forcing myself to maple from morning till late night so that my heart wont feel anything. I always comfort my friends that time will heal everything, but will time heal me this time? I feel so guilty, I feel I'm the one who indirectly killed my own baby. I hated myself, I hated myself so much that I want to torture myself to death.

I no longer able to talk with him either. I just locked myself up, I don't want to be reminded of anything. I know I am being very unfair to him but I really unable to face anyone. I wanted a breakup, I do not want to get involved with anyone.

I hate life and being living on to suffer...

YaYa

Sad Sad Week

6th July 07 was one of my saddest day in my life. I was bleeding again that nite without a reason and tinking I had to wait for ultrascan till August, I decided to make a trip to A&E that nite. Perhaps I shouldn had gone at all, I regret going there... The doc on duty did a scan and found out that the baby did not hav any heartbeat, in another words, I hav a miscarriage. Asking me wad I wan to do is useless since the oni choice I hav is to hav an abortion. Unlike normal abortion, people oni do washing the baby out, I hav to actually give birth to it before I can do the washing as the baby is too big claimed by the doc.

I was admitted that very nite, I couldn sleep as I expected. Alot of things kip running thru my mind... I was tinking would things changed if I never made the decision to come to the hospital, would the baby still alive if I never gone there? I didnt want him to feel guilty or worried abt me, I didnt shred a tear in front of anyone.. I just pretend nth had happened but deep inside me, I really feel very terrible.

I kip telling myself perhaps it will be better if the baby never come to this world. I know very clearly that he didnt really wan this baby, I know he agreed just because I couldnt bear to abort it. I oso knew it very clearly that his family will never agree towards our relationship. But I never wanted everything, all i wan is safety for my baby. I didnt even hope to be with him in future, I even plan to give up on this relationship. Why must things ended this way? Am I asking too much? Am I too greedy? I dont know, I really hav no answer..

The baby came out ard 2 plus in the morning on 9th July 07, I dont hav the courage to take a last look at it. I even refused to take pain killer when the labour pain came earlier, perhaps I wan myself to face the fact. I kept bleeding profusely, the sanitary pad was soaked in blood every 15mins and overflood. I didn really care if I was going to die at that moment, I wished I did at some point. I came home that evening I had my operation, I didn wan to stay another nite there. I didn wan to be remind of the incident.

After coming home, I didn talk much with him abt the incident. I just pretend nth had happened. I am afraid I would cry in front of him, I didn want him to know it actually affected me badly.

I wish... I wish... I wish time would just roll back for once...

YaYa

Tired, tired, tired...

Just change my blog design, nice mah? I tink is cute... Like this song alot though is 10 years ago song, guess most of you might not even heard this song before. ;p

Has been sleeping very late for the past whole week, not because I was too engrossed in mapling but I was trying to get myself occupied to wait for him to get home. He's very busy for the whole, coming home ard midnight. Poor thing, he hasnt get enough sleep at all. T_T

Hate going out nowadays, I couldnt even go shopping for 5mins. Whenever I get to crowded places, I will start to get dizzy & feel nauseous. I nid to squat down like every min! So sian, must cope myself at home. At least now I am able to walk around the neighbourhood & take buses, is better than nth.

I wonder how much weight will I gain this mth, been eating supper almost daily & light snack in-between meals. Been trying hard to control myself, I am afraid to gain too much now in case I cant shred it off later on. Haha...

YaYa

First Post after months

It has been months since I came here... I moved back to my own hse so I can sell it more conveniently. And another reason is because he came sg to work and couldn't bear to let him stay alone in my hse.

Yes, I'm still not working... Can't work anyway, is that idiot's fault!!! Guess why? Haha...

Well, a little life will arrive to this world during xmas' eve. Tis time I insist of keeping it, I do not want to have anymore regret in future. No intention of getting married though... I don't wan to get married for the sake of getting married. Maybe in future but definitely not now.

I am so bad... I told him I let baby follow my surname.. Hahaha... I just like to see that reaction on his face.. Hmm... It might just happen that way if YOU didn't treat me well, get that? ;p

YaYa

Sad

Yesterday was a day i had been waiting for years to come. I thought i would happy.. But i wasn't when tis day actually arrived.

During my journey to the court, memories kept fillin me up. Many times i had to control my tears from falling down. Why do i still feel sad? Shouldn't i feel delight that i got my freedomback? I wanted to cry out but i know i can't.

All i ask is a family whether rich or poor, why couldn't he do that? Is that too much to ask for?

My life is full of sadness. Even there's happiness, they r just dreams. =) I thought of my childhood, my school life, my marriage & my father's death.

I have finally realise that i had no trust in love or anyone. I really do not want to go through all these again. I thought i had get over but little did i know, i haven't. I simply cast them aside, somewhere in my heart, thinking they will just leave me alone. They dun.. They will b hauting me every now & then then.

Once again, i hav chosen to leave him again. Like he said, i'm already 28 & hav 2 kids.. Bur i wasn't listenin at all. yah.. I'm already 28 wif 2 kids whereas he's only 23. He is young, too young to stay with an old lady like me. We are not suitable for each other, i know it very well that i can only be part of his memories.Thks Tony, thks for loving me.. I'm happy that you've been in my life for a period of time. That's enough ler, thks.

YaYa

Nightmare...

Today I had learnt something new, how to open a locked door without key n locksmith. >.<

Fine, I wasnt the one who created this mess, it was Joel who has itchy hands to take the keys on his own & put the keys inside b4 he actually locked the door.

It was a total nightmare... I had no experience in doing such task before & i was alone at home too. Scared me to death!!! I hopeless finding ways to open that freaking door, calling everyone whom i tink can help me.

End up i sat there crying n finally someone told me use a hammer to hit on the key portion. After trying mani times, the door finally open itself... T.T

I never allow them to touch the keys again!!!

YaYa

My 10 days~

As usual, I had been mapling for the past few days but not wif my cleric ger but my dit... His exams r coming soon so he nid to study n i didn really want him to chase after my level later on so I just put my cleric on hold.

Currently my dit is level 40 ler, slowing down liao. I duno y, i kip falling asleep mani times while mapling. I just couldn concentrate & kip on yawning wif my eyelids shutting itself. -_-ll

Got to noe a new fren, froggie, in kerning pq.. He was so kelian thru out that 5hrs pqing... The leader (call him bhr) kept begging him to lend steely & tobi but obviously he refused. But to my surprise, bhr was so patient to kip asking for 5hrs until froggie couldn stand him & he decided to totally ignore his request while I was there laughing non-stop. After partying him for a few days then i realised he oni had 2 stars, steely & tobi.. =.= Froggie, go hunt more stars lar.. U noe is very ma fan to kip on repoting de mah?

I swear i will not ever get into ludi pq again. It's a torture, not a leisure at all!! I went in twice, both times made me almost vomited blood. After leaving the pq, I realised my lifespan has been shortened for at least 10 years.

The first time I went in, a few of them kip fooling ard.. Keeping the tickets in their inventory, letting us kip asking ard who has the tickets. & one of them kip shouting for haste when we hav not even add sp to it, why couldn he use speed pots instead. I couldn bother wif him oso..

The 2nd time got a sin kip on running all over the chns, claiming he is trying to search for chn when we already had track for that particular chn. In the end, me n froggie couldn stand him n kick him out. In that pq, most of them hardly do anything... Then me n froggie had decided we r not going in after this pq. However, b4 we could finish it, an idiot left the party & made the rest of us being threw out of the pq. If u do not wan to continue, u can jolly well click logout or click that npc to get out. I guess she did it on purpose... But oh well, she save me from that horrible place anyway.

Joined a guild earlier on but quitted after 2 days... Well, the guild members r noisy but is among themselves since they r frens in the first place. I guess they added people in just for the sake of adding. They dun chat wif u, they dun ans ur qns & u r there b coz of u r there. -.- That is so lame... N the worst thing is 2 of them speak in twit language!!! OMG!!! It doesnt make them look cute but it make the sentence so hard to read...

Seriously i nid more frens in my buddy list, to kip me accompany... but some of them just dun talk even u asked them qns... Too buzy wif level or they do not noe hw to reply? Anyone can teach me hw to get more frens? T.T

As usual, quarrelling wif dear every few days... Haha~ I guess he already got used to my temper ler, m i rite abt that? Another 2 more mths & it will b our 1st year anniversary.. I didn expect time to pass away so fast & he will b coming to sg very soon too. I tink he's counting down to that date. ;p

Oh yah, i'm going to court on this 26th & I will b officially divorced on the 26th april. Yeah, finally this day has come! I waited for so long liao till my neck has grown so long.. Hee~ Anyone has reliable housing agent to recommend me? =D I do not like to find stranger esp i will b passing the keys to her. Pls lor, dun expect me to go dwn to serangoon from jurong east everytime there r interested buyers wanting to view flat...

Go watch kid central wif my ger ler since maple is under server check right now.

YaYa

Busy Week

Has been very busy for the past whole week... Hmm.. wad did i do? Let me tink...

I rmb I had been going out almost everyday from mon to fri... I didnt want to stay at home, it was so lonely n boring. No one is free to talk to me. In the end, I bought lots of stuffs which cost few hundreds bucks. I noe I shld save up the $ for moving hse etc but I duno y, I just feel so down n wanted to make myself happier. I bought clothes, bag & some other stuffs that i dun even rmb.

Oh yah, I had just finished my 1000 piece puzzle and it took me 2 days. Depending on how u count it, if deduct my sleep n going out, it will b oni 1 day. =D I was hoping that puzzle could let me spend more days to complete, at least I dun feel so bored.

Found an part-time housing agent, going to meet her this friday, i tink. It was not yet confirmed, i oni heard it from my cousin. Ohh.. the agent was intro by my cousin de. I didn wan to find strangers from newspaper & pass him/her my keys. I dun feel safe...

Haiz.. Tinking of calling my lawyer tmr, mayb tell her I found buyer ler & ask her to speed up my divorce. I was hoping to get it done by april, i wonder if she can make it or not. I dun care, die die ask her to do it. I pay for it de ok?!

Caiyong first day of school is just like another normal day. He seems to like the school, he didnt complaint at all. He just kept mentioning that the teacher took his workbooks n never return him. Haha~ Kids nowadays r so fortunate... The school helped them to keep all their workbooks & exercise books. Last time during my time, we hav to bring everything to school ourselves de. T.T

Sian, nid go eat dinner ler or else later my dear will become a super naggy uncle liao... >.<

YaYa

Angry Angry Angry

Finally I had scolded the ger who used my dit pic for her siggy... I had tried to calm myself down for the past few days but it still explode when I saw her way of replying other ppl's request in her thread. I dun like her attitude so I decided to tell her off.

After playing my sin for sometimes, I feel boring wif her as I feel her life in maple will b oni L7 and nth else. So i created a dit on xmas eve and my dear helped to lvl her till 10 since she had trouble killing orange mush in lower lvl.

During xmas day i was browsing the forum and saw a siggy making thread, I submitted 3 pics taken in cs asking her to help me designed. Tat's whr my nightmare came.. She got herself a new siggy by using all my pics as her own without even bother to ask me. I kept quiet when i saw tat, tinking she might tell me later on. I waited for days but she nv mention anything so I assume she is not going to say anything abt it.

Seriously speaking, I wasnt angry that she do not hav time to do the siggys in the thread as there were alot of them but I was angry of her using my pics. Her supporters oni noe how to flame blindly saying she can took the pics herself, using char stimulator blah blah blah when evidences r being thrown rite in front of their faces.

Haha~ Rite now i m just enjoying myself flaming them back too since maple is still down... Who wanna join me? =D

YaYa

My Fears...

Recently some incidents which I chose to forgotten has been coming back to me and thus bringing back the fear as well. It was quite long ago, during my secondary time and I had never told anyone abt it, not even my dear since I had chose not to rmb it. However, the fear came back...

It had been so mani years since I last saw him.. He didnt change much except grown fatter. The incidents keep appearing in my mind, making me so frighten. Till now, I do not dare to look at him directly.

Why must he show up? Why cant he let me bury those nightmares and never get it out again? I do not know wad to do, my mind is in a mess...

YaYa

Weird Happenings

I duno I took how long to fall aslp coz of the thunder.. Go laugh at me, I admit I m afraid of thunder and mani other stuffs tooIt has been raining since yst, on and off. It made the surrounding so cold and dark like late evening. I wonder when is it going to stop, I wan my sun back. T_T

Haiz.. I had finish watching all the episodes available in youtube for naruto, now I nid to wait weekly for new episode to b out so decide to watch bleach while waiting. =) Bleach is quite a funny anime too but kinda of more scary too, the monsters I'm talking abt.

Last nite rite after I switch off my pc, sometink caught my attention. A yellow butterfly flying around me, I was surprised (very) by it. I never expect a butterfly could actually flew into 7th floor HDB flat in the middle of the night. It landed awhile on the floor but less tan 5 secs, it flew up and it was gone suddenly. I tried in vain searching for it but gave up after 5mins...

Was lying on my bed tossing ard since I cant slp, I heard someone open the main gate n door. However, there was no closing sound nor footstep after tat. I m very sure tat the sound of opening if from the outside coz main gate come first. I look out of the window and scanned ard my neighbours' hse, there isn't anyone. Yah, at this point of time my mind ran wild, I got up and quicky shut my door b4 covering myself wif blanket. >.<

Pls dun let such incident happen to me again, it was so scary...

YaYa.

Bringing My Death Forward

Have not been feeling well for the past few days but yet I refused to rest more, pushing myself to my limit. I noe by doing tis, I m making myself more vulnerable to illness & death. But who care?

No matter how tired I get, I just kip dragging myself on coz I noe even Iying on bed wont fall asleep. My mind doesnt allow me to rest anyway. =) Lucky I got naruto to accompany me thru those nites or else I do not noe wad to do alone. Yah, I got no frens.. Even I hav, they r oni those hi and bye frens. I hardly talked wif anyone, they will oni talked to me when they nid some answers and perhaps guess I will noe it bah.

I'm getting used of doing tinks alone again. I no longer feel I nid anyone or I m needed by anyone.. Even though I m smiling, my heart is not doing the same. I do not noe since when I had build back my wall n this time I even add a lock on it too, refusing to let myself to open up again. I guess this might a better solution to me and to everyone. :-)

Dying YaYa

Stupid Naruto

Yawn~ Last nite I slept at 4am. Wanted to slp earlier de, my finger just couldnt stop clicking the naruto one episode after another. It was so exciting battle & by watching halfway will just made me unable to fall in slp more.

Stupid Naruto show... Made me cried last nite while watching. Lucky everyone is aslp ler so no1 seen me. ;p Haku is so kind-hearted till he actually sacrified himself for his master even he knew from the beginning he was oni a tool. It was so touching!!! Dun u dare to laugh at me, go watch yourself, I bet u will cry as well if u use your heart to view it. The loading is soooooooooooooooooo slow ar till to a point it just kip die on me. FASTER PLS!!! I refresh it 3 times liao, wad u wan me to do?!

Haha... Caiyong fall sick again. -_- Well, he brought it upon himself de. Who ask him kip refusing to drink more water and eat so much heaty food. Now complaint of somach pain liao, as usual. Didn bother so much as I noe he will b well again tml when he wake up. ;p

Finally dear is back home 2dae but as I expected, he still hasnt got time for me. He actually forgotten tml he got test/exam!!!! (That idiot~ -_-) I refused to allow him to reply to our thread as I want him to concentrate on his studies but I noe it very well de. Even he nv reply it, he will still viewing it every now & then. Am I correct, my dear? F3

I wonder if he missed me tis few days or not... Hmm... Just to let u noe I DUN miss u!!!

YaYa

Insane Watching Anime

Yawn~ I m so tired... Not tired from mapling but sometink new tis time. ;p Guess it...



Got the ans yet? Hee~




Is Anime, Naruto! Haha~ It was so funny n I couldnt stop watching to go slp. -_-


2dae is my 1st day n viewing episode 14 n still counting... I m glad that weiwei intro tis anime to me, i luv u weiwei!!! Muacks~

Haiz, I was so addicted to it till I dun really bother abt my siggy contest in forum. Bleah~ Nid sometimes to let tis anime addiction to cool off de, just like maple. ;p I noe dear wont get too angry wif me de. Rite hor dear? =D

I no time to write liao, show starting ler, cya~

YaYa

Sick Day

Yst I was too tired n didnt play dear's char, tink oni up 1-2% oni. I was tinking of training him on sat afternoon de but haiz, in the end I was slping instead of in maple. My head was in pain, I couldn get myself to face the pc so I hav no choice but to log out maple. Sry dear, sry for not training. However, I still manage to lvl him up during 2x exp timing. Hee~

2dae I broke record, I didn eat lunch or dinner. That include breakfast hor... Duno y... Just cant eat at all, I kip feeling very full n looking at the rice already me wan to puke liao. -_-ll As usual, I threw away the food secretly. I noe is a sin to throw away but how m I supposed to eat it when I hav no appetite?

I miss him alot, how i wish he is wif me now.. *Sob sob* But I noe he's bz working, cannot disturb him.. I feel like calling him and cry my heart out. I always cry whenever I fall sick de coz I hate that feeling of uncomfortable. But at the same time, I oso hate to eat medicines too. So I can oni wait for my immune system to heal me. T.T

Now watching Jackie Wu's show, so funny sia... Make me forget my sickness for time being. =) Yeah, I tink dear already off work ler. Haha~ He must b having his supper now. He's a piggy lai de, eat alot. Totally opposite of me... Hahaha, I oni good at eating chocolates n biscuits. But too bad he always dun allow me to eat de, he baddie. >.< I go watch my show ler, mayb ltr will go lvl my hoghog.

YaYa

New Blog Design

Was kinda of bored so decide to change new blog design. I had tis saved in my pc wif the previous design at the same time but I didnt use tis as I like the animals in that previous design. Took me quite some time to get wad I wan in tis design. Not I stupid ok? I was trying ard wif pics, testing which look the best in it. Finally I made my decision to use these (it was hard to make decision as I love all my pics, haha). Is tis nicer or the previous better? o.O

As usual, I changed my mind again... >.< A fren of mine told me why do u nid to worry so much now? He advise me to hold on till he come sg. He felt mayb is b coz we r being far away, tat's y I feel insecure & lack of confidence. I really had no idea if I can wait till he come or just give up again... But I noe even he noe he's going to get hurt by me again, he is willing to do so too. Sry dear..

I had been training hard for our chars in maple as each day I see them getting nearer to 3rd job, it makes me feel so happy. Not that I had not been to 3rd job b4, is b coz tis time I reaching tgt wif him instead of being alone again. =) Some ppl in maple r just so funny... I rmb yst when I was training my dear's char, I saw a sin cc into the chn & I tink he saw me too since I was just on his right side when he jumped dwn. As I dun mind sharing, I didnt speak a word... After I walked back from the right, he said, " cc pls, ty." I replied, " I just saw u jump dwn from the top LOL." After saying tat, he disappear... I tink he went other chn ler bah, didn bother at all. I wonder is he trying to b a joker or tinking I'm blind?

When is the stupid invalid pointer caused by tv going to get solved? I really hate it whenever I get pass the tv & get my whole maple to shut dwn. It's so irritiating!!! I dun even understand y do they hav the tv in the 1st place. It was so exp to use it n hardly we see anyone using it anyway. Like some of the forumers said, the tv is white elephant. Haha~

That idiot again giving excuses when I ask him when his so-called $ going to xfer to me. It was the 3rd week liao & he still claiming that the bank had not given an answer yet. Which bank took sooooo long to give an answer?! They can't b happier when u r loaning from them! I guess he really tink I m a 3 year old kid. I had already found out mani loopholes in the conversations wif him but I keeping quiet now. I will spill out everything when the time is ripe. Now is still not the time yet. ;p

I wonder how's dear work. Issit crowded wif ppl, issit bz or issit bored? I nv sms him as I do not wan to disturb him during his work time. =( So boring, tink I will go change my tagboard colour as I feel it doesnt suit my blog colour. Hehe..

YaYa

No Title

I hardly slp last nite, too much tinks on my mind. Eventually I fall sick liao, now headache n flu... How I wish sickness can just let one to die so I do not nid to b so trouble ler.

Once again I told him that treat me as fren oni, I feel so weird when we arent even tgt n yet he pretending nth happened. Yah, we broke off more tan 2mths ago. I just feel we r not suited for each other.. He is still so young, has a bright future ahead of him and he stayed msia. Me? I m old ler, no future and stay in sg. There r mani facts lying there, I just cant pretend they r not there or tinking they will disappear when time comes. Sooner or later I will nid to face it..

It mayb very hurt now but time will numb us, soon we will no longer feel anything towards tis relationship. I rather he blames me now for being so selfish than he regret being wif me in future. =)

I want to delete my chars in maple but I just cant bear to do it. I noe by deleting it will further confirm our situation. I duno why I cant click the confirmation icon of deleting... Perhaps I still nid some time to persuade myself to press it.. I noe I will regret it once I delete it but I noe that's a must.

He's going to JB to work 2dae, I wish him luck. And nxt mth he will having exams, I noe he will do well in his coming exams. I trust he will do everything for his future n himself de.

Hope the rain stop soon, I want to change my number. >.<

YaYa

Meaningful Phrase

I saw tis somewhere, find it very meaningful so I decided to kip it here for memories. =)

cause my heart wont be your ragdoll anymore

there's a moment in my mind i've scribbled & erase a thousand times

smile, its easier then explaining why you are sad

you're the last thing my heart expected, Love

before you found me, you already abandoned me

& once i thought waitting could change something

a woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets

& yet those promises had been emptied by time

in your sweet embrace, all my pain's erased

& i cant live in the past & drown myself in memories

& your name is the secret word to the doors of hearts

Goodbye to you, to everything i thought i knew

should i trust this postage due, to deliver my heart to you

a year ago you saw my first tear, and it was for you

that romance, it shows how much i tried to love you

Too true to say goodbye to you

& i dont know tomorrow
we can still love each other as much as we do now.

I forgot to get you a gift, so i decided to BE the gift.

Since love won't last forever, let's enjoy what we have before a meteor decides to kill us.

The courage in the depths of the chest that slashes apart the darkness;
The white wings that severs confusion,
"I don't think that I can do everything by myself anymore!"

Since Light travels Faster than sound, people appear bright. until we hear them speak



Maple has been so laggy till I hardly wan to go in. I can oni train till 10am n the rest of the day shld b facing lags & dcing. Tis is so sux... I really dun understand wad's the problem here. It's like getting from bad to worse! Oh well, at least I get to slp early n maple early in the morning. =)

I m so tired now, wan to go zzz ler. Hope I wont hav nightmares again, like last nite. >.<

YaYa

Boring Weekend~

Haiz... He wont b home till Monday as he's going Penang straight after school for work. T.T No one accompany me to maple n chit chat le.. U know if one dun talk for whole day, u will hav bad breath de. *sob sob*

Delphinus is out 2dae, no excitement or feeling. I really had no idea wad wizet r tinking. R they too rich, no other place to spend their $? Bootes and Cass barely full, I can hardly find someone in Cass. They tink by opening a new world, it will as filled as Aquila? It will b as dead as the other 2 worlds, zzz. I rather they spend the $ solving the lags n bugs. At least it will make people more willing to continue the game instead of all quitting.

I will definitely not moving to new world as I used so mani mths to train my char to lvl58, I m not going to give her up now. I dun hav the energy I used to hav to train her to 3rd job in 2 mths like I used to do so. By repeating such process, it will make maple boring. Not to mention I had spend so much cash on her, and turning her to my fav look. =D Anyway I jolly well know those who move over only have one motive; to b the top player in that world. Lame~

Hopefully Showa VIP Hair cut coupon will b out 2dae, I m looking forward for tat. Intending to create another siggy competition wif at least 20k-30k A-cash as prize(s). Havent decide how much yet and 1 or 2 winners, I m still deciding. Hmm... Any idea? Most probably I will send it as gift rather tan giving the code to the winner just in case he/she telling me code is wrong. I will take every successful gift's ss and kip it in my pc as evidence. Haha~

Going Jurong Point later, might b looking for present n xmas card since maple wont b up so soon. If u see me there, rmb to say hi to me k? =)

YaYa

Free, Free, Free

Yeah, I feel so happy now. Tis morning I went to the lawyer and finally got him sign the papers. Haha... Now he cannot disagree anything liao, he was the one who signed it in front of the commissioner. *Dancing around*

Jackie told me the hearing date is on 26th Dec next month and if everything goes smoothly, I can get my divorce papers at April. Hehe... I guess that is my best bdae present all my life, at least for now. =)

Was so tired when I got home so decided to went for nap wif my little princess for awhile. She noisy leh, woke me up a couple of times. In the end she woke up later than me. Haha..

Went taka shopping but didnt manage to get wad I wan. Wad to do? Xmas is coming yet I havent get him a present. Hmm.. Anyone has any suggestion of wad to get? All suggestions will b put under consideration. ^^

Enen got herself a new water bottle, so cute de coz I oso like that design but of coz I wont use it. Too childish.. -_- I oso bought her a new bag but it was a pity the colour I want is already sold. Haiz.. Should had bought it last mth when I saw it, now regret oso no use. She chose a light pink colour instead, oh well, she is the one using it not me. =D Dun tink she oni get those, she bought her favourite, winx club fairy. She been bugging me for weeks. I consider that as xmas present cum bdae present. Haha.. I sound like a baddie hor? As for Joel, I bought him a Power Ranger toy. Feel the nid to buy him one as enen got a toy or else I look so unfair sia.

Due to my laziness, I didnt bring umbrella out and been walking in the rain for quite a while. Hopefully I wont fall sick b coz of tis or else I will definitely getting tons of nagging from u noe who. =(

Someone rushing me to maple liao, gogogo. Hope to get her to 3rd job by nxt mth!

YaYa

After A Long Rest

It has been weeks since I last visited my own blog. Previously I had no wish to come back to view this sad place wif all those sad memories.After of calming myself for sometimes, I feel better now.

I was wondering, perhaps I had depression but I dun wan to find out or even to get myself cure. I must be mad... Who cares abt it? =D

Finally going to get my divorce done, meeting the lawyer for the 3rd time and of coz paying $500 again... T.T But well, at least I will be free after paying her the 4th time! I really looking forward for that day to come, I dun wan to hav anymore to do wif that idiot. Just my luck to meet such a jerk.

Has been raining these few days, making everyone falling sick. I tink I will get the sickness sooner or later since the kids ard me are already starting their germs to me. -_-ll Must drink more water and rest more.. Urgh... I hate the feeling of falling sick and most impt tink is I HATE MEDICINES.

Been slacking alot in maple.. Duno why, always wan to slp when I start to maple esp in gangster town. Haha.. Sometimes I just hang myself there and leech while I went to watch tv. Gangster town just dun attract me... >.<

Oops.. I forgot to get diamonds for tomato ler. Hahaha.. Later he will b chasing me for it, tink I promised to get 30 for him few days ago. Better go maple and shop ard now in case I forget again tml morning. ;p

Love YaYa

My Last Words

Tis is my very last time writing here, wif my true feeling. I noe I wont hav any chance again coz I will not give myself a 2nd chance.

Since young, I already knew being a human is a torture. I always ask why am I being brought to this world and suffer? Mani times adults think that by providing us gd education and life of everything is being responsible. But did they realise how mani times I was being humiliated in school and how nasty they said abt me and my family? Perhaps they will never get to know as I never mentioned a word to them. There r mani tinks cant b bought by money, like care and concern. I always tink: why dun i get a complete family like my frens do? why dun i get to see my parents daily like my frens do? why dun i get family day like my frens do? No1 gave me the answer before, I dun even dare to ask the adults for fear I will get scoldings and beatings instead.

I dun like people, I dun like to talk wif them. I dun wan anyone of them to get close me and hurt me. But still I failed to protect myself..

Just now I said very hurtful comments to someone I cared and loved most. I know he must have hated me alot now. He told me he hate me, very very much and had never loved me all along. I really hoped he said that from his bottom of his heart. I'm glad he said that to me, so tat I can leave this world in peace knowing this.

I am so tired of living on, I can't find any reason for me to continue on. Everyone hates me, I am just a burden to everyone. If I were to leave tis world, it's a release for all. It will bring everyone happiness... If my death can do such great thing, death is nothing to me.

Sorry tat I bring so much sorrow, unhappiness and troubles to people ard me. I hope tat life without me will be a better life for all of you. I love you.

Love YaYa

Lies, Lies & Lies

After more tan 7mths, I finally realised that I had never been in love. All those love & promises are nothing but lies only... Stupid arh?

I should have known that right from the start but everytime I had been so naive. No one is true to anyone.. They pretend it for sometink in return. Only if you r of some use or else u r just a pile of rubbish...

Issit so fun to make fun of me and my feeling? Isn't I am a human being as well? Why some people can do it without their conscious?  I am just plain stupid, thinking everyone will use their true feeling to treat me but in the end everyone just hurt me.

It's time for me to wake up from my dreams and face the reality. I shall treat it as a lesson learnt but this lesson had been too much for me to take it. Perhaps I am right to choose to abort my baby.. But this nightmare will only follow me alone for the rest of my life.

Stupid YaYa