DIY a beansprout bolster for baby, hope baby likes it since my sewing is not as good as the professional, hehe. Took me quite some time to finish it as i was trying to estimate the amount of beansprout to put in. 

Weiwei is still crying in school, i really hope he can get used to it soon. Heartpain to see him cry so badly everyday and the kelian look. I am trying hard not to be soft-hearted and stop letting him go school. Haiz..

There will never be forever happiness or love, they are here and gone before you know it. Perhaps it's a blessing to know it earlier than later. I hope the heart will stop crying and bleeding, it hurts..

Hormones acting up again, feel like crying for no reason again. I need more love, care and attention than ever. Please treat me like an infant and shower me with all the love you can, i need lots of it. :(




Sent from Samsung tablet

Suddenly i am afraid of giving birth, i feel like running away. I even want to pretend baby isnt here, i think i must be crazy now.



Sent from Samsung tablet

I have been sleeping very little for the past 3 days. Though my eyes are closed but i know i was awake. I am not sure why but i have been feeling very depressed for the past few days, it's like unloved/unwanted. The feeling is awful and i hardly able to cope it. Yesterday i couldn't take it and cried several times, trying to relieve the unhappiness inside me. I hate the feeling, i think it must be the hormones changing. I hope my old self will be back soon. :(




Sent from Samsung tablet

I never expected it is that difficult to get my boy to school. This morning he woke up early and i thought we are able to go out early but i was wrong. When he saw his uniform that i intend to change for him, he threw the top onto the floor and lie on the sofa refusing to get up. I tried to take off his pyjames and he was pulling it back, saying no at the same time. After coaxing him for 30mins, nothing is done and i gave up as i didn't want to force him. I know clearly if i had force him to go school, he won't like school again. I hope he will want to go tomorrow.

Dear had gone to KL today and he will only be back until next tues. I am starting to miss him already, sigh. He went to work just now, not sure what time will he be going back to the hotel. I don't think i am able to stay up too late to wait for his msn.

I am so bored at home, i hope to be able to bring weiwei to school soon so my time will pass faster. Jia you baby!

Waited more than 2 hours yesterday but when I saw the screen, all the wait is worth it. I saw her being very excited, jumping up and down and waving her tiny little hand. At 1 point of time, I think I even saw a smile like face. Though the screen is in black and white but I could clearly recognise the face. I can't wait to see her again next month, hope she will let me know her gender then as this time she had her legs all up and showing off her buttocks. =D

I was so upset and angry last night. My boy had his legs on my bed, making me unable to turn and felt so warm thus unable to sleep. Tried to wake him up to move my boy but he slept like dead log. End up I had to sleep on the floor and he still sleep so soundly, at 1 point of time he even sleep over to my side! It started to rain and I cant get back to bed so I had to sleep on the sofa. =(

My boy down with chickenpox while I barely able to eat anything, how worse can it get? Lucky my boy seems well and fine with it or else I think I will be death at a even faster rate. Sigh..

December, december.. When are you coming? I wish it will come real soon and hope I will feel better. Eating meals now seem a torture to me as I hardly can eat it and at the same time I can feel the hunger in me. Arghh....

I feel so unwell, I feel like I am dying everyday. I know all these feelings are good signs but sometimes I really hate it. I know I am indecisive. =(

Time for laugh

Just now I went to topup petrol fuel and after when I am done, I couldn't start my car. I tried like 5-6 times, still unable to start it so I have no choice but to call dear. In the end I forgot to put my gear to N/P. >.< 

I think I must be daydreaming again, don't know I didn't take note of that. Dear definitely will be laughing at me when he come home tonight.

Tomorrow evening I will be facing the answer, I am not thinking of it now. I don't want to stress myself or anyone. :)

I don't know what is truth and what is fake, I don't know to believe or to doubt. I am afraid to believe what I had seen, I am afraid that I will be disappointed. I don't know if I have the courage to face it, I don't know what kind of feeling should I get myself prepared. Everything seems so real and yet so unreal at the same time. I will only know the answer in another week time, what will the answer be and what answer am I hoping..

I thought I will be having a smooth sailing journey, I guess I got too excited. Now I am feeling unwell, nausea has been around for like half an hour and I just feel like going to the toilet to puke. Sigh.. I hope this kind of feeling will not get worse, just stay this way. :( 

It has been such a long long time since I wrote something in my blog, I think partly is because I am plain lazy to update it. I hope I will try to update it more frequent so in the future I will not forget bits and pieces of the memories that I will like to remember. 

Today is the 3rd day dear went Hongkong, he didn't call us in the afternoon so I guess he must be too busy to do so. I can only see him in another week, I wonder if he misses us like how we miss him? 

Decided to spend more time with the family instead of the laptop, my boy has been growing so fast and I hope I can see him more before he doesn't want me to be with him. Haha..

Beaba Babycook Baby Food Maker is in my next to buy list. ^^ Got to write it here in case I forgotten the name, haha..

Went for a shopping spree yesterday but the one who got the most is my boy, haha.. He got himself a farm with truck and lots of animals, a ball, a set of utensils for his self feeding, his bathing and utensil washing refills, a finger toothbrush, a learning chopsticks. I think that's it, I can't remember it. Hehe..

Actually we intend to get a darker tone curtains and a mirror in Ikea but end up buying so many things for him. Seeing him enjoys so much in his new farm, I am glad that we decide to buy it back. 

Ordered a few sets of his cloth diapers and should be receiving them tomorrow. He starts wearing them 24/7 but due to raining weather, he doesn't have enough diapers to change. Anyway he will be using them for quite some time so still worthwhile.

He has showed interest in self feeding and this afternoon he had his first try. It was fine initially and right after I took some photos, his food start to fly over all the place. Haha.. It's really fun to see him progressing daily, getting better and cleverer each day. I hope to hear him call MaMa real soon. =)

YaYa

Currently crazy about cloth diaper. Haha.. Not those we see and use in the olden days where we have to fold it and can only wear for 1 pee. I am referring to those modified ones where each cloth diaper can wear about 3hrs, the cover is in either solid and designs plus WATERPROOF material. Though is expensive when buy initially but in the long run, I can save quite a sum. And can pass down if is well-maintenance., haha.. Actually the main point is not only can save money, can save the environment too. Since I am a SATM, I believe I have the time to wash it (anyway I am not the one washing, is my washing machine doing the job =D). Looking forward to receive them perhaps by next week, give them a few washes and ready to use on my boy. Can't wait to receive my loots! ^^

YaYa

Once upon a time, there is a silly girl who thought herself as a piece of carrot so when she was holding a carrot while cutting, she put her own finger at the bottom of the knife and cut it along. Haha.. That person is me. =.= Nothing serious but that finger won't be able to use anytime soon since I can't press on it.

Dear is considering of changing job. At first he was worried I will be unhappy but I told him his fear is unfounded.  If he wishes to change a new environment, I won't stop him. I know he isn't happy with his current job so I keep encouraging him to find a new one. Hope he can get one that he truly likes and enjoys. ^^

YaYa